Illinois State Police

[Verse 1]
This is a highway patrol force
This highway patrol keeps our highways safe in Illinois
They do it by getting the drunk drivers off the road
They also arrest lawbreakers and put them in jail for felonies and misdemeanors

[Chorus]
Illinois state police
Illinois state police
Illinois state police
Illinois state police

[Verse 2]
At two o'clock PM, a male state trooper pulled a gold El Dorado over
Trooper D. R. Johnson asked Clarence Weeks to show his driver's license
He smelled whiskey on Clarence Weeks' breath
Trooper D. R. Johnson arrested Clarence Weeks for D.U.I. and took him to jail

[Chorus]
Illinois state police
Illinois state police
Illinois state police
Illinois state police

[Verse 3]
At 3:30 p.m, a male state trooper pulled a drunk driver over
Trooper Jay Grant told Russell Griffin to get his ass out of the car
He found a bottle of Smirnoff vodka in Russell Griffin's car
Russell Griffin was arrested and taken to jail

[Chorus]
Illinois state police
Illinois state police
Illinois state police
Illinois state police

[Outro]
Rock over London, Rock on Chicago
Swiss Air, time is everything