If I Catch on Fire, Please Put Me Out

[Intro]
Ow

[Verse 1]
I need an empath, is that too much to ask?
I'm still holding my breath, can I stop holding my breath now?
It's a cakewalk, and I take it easy
These aren't gym shorts, they're athleisure

[Verse 2]
I need a frank talk, is that too much to ask?
I am double-fisting it: medications in one hand, placebos in the other hand
I got a soul made of whole-grain mustard
I'm not normal, I'm unflustered

[Pre-Chorus]
Do you want to see me wear a collared shirt?
Manipulation, influence, affluence, and arrogance
Do you want to see me eating French dessert?
Persecution, placation, validation, fast food nation
Do you guys want to see some pics of things I did on my vacation?

[Chorus]
If I catch on fire, please put mе out
If I get wet, pleasе dry me off
If I have a heart attack, please give me CPR
And continue the compressions 'til the ambulance arrives
If I forget my wallet, please loan me twenty bucks
And pretend it never happened and don't ask for it back
If you have to kill me, please cover me in dirt
If I catch on fire, please put me out
If I catch on fire, please put me out

[Verse 3]
When you need something from someone you haven't talked to for a long time
Do you just ask?
Or do you call them first for quote-unquote no reason
And then a couple days later, call them again?

[Pre-Chorus]
Do you want to see me wear a collared shirt?
Manipulation, influence, affluence, and arrogance
Do you want to see me eating clumps of dirt?
Persecution, placation, validation, fast food nation
Do you guys want to see some pics of things I did on my vacation?

[Chorus]
If I catch on fire, please put me out
If I get wet, please dry me off
If I have a heart attack, please give me CPR
And continue the compressions 'til the ambulance arrives
If I forget my wallet, please loan me twenty bucks
And pretend it never happened and don't ask for it back
If you have to kill me, please cover me in dirt
If I catch on fire, please put me out
If I catch on fire, please put me out