​i wish that i could wear hats

I wish that I could wear hats
Without looking like a little lad
Or looking like a little league dad
Or looking like a guy named Chad
But it seems my head will have to stay
Without a bowler or beret
Lest someone sees me and they say
"Is that his style or bad cosplay?"

I wish I had no fears
About looking like I have no ears
Or that I haven't left my house in years
Or I have strong opinions about beers
Or looking like I got confused
In the middle of dressing for a steampunk con
Or looking like I look too long in the mirror
Every time I put a new hat on

Wondering why do I look so bad — or not bad
But sad that this hat won't look like I had
A plan for this cap, to capitalize
On how my face looks, my body this size
My eyes in my skull, this hat on my hair
The eyes that look at the things that I wear
And how does it look? And how do I look?
And how can I look how I look and not care?

Comparing my clothes with others, much closer
To their own goals or some sort of closure
How do they do what they want and look planned?
I come to you now, my hat in my hand

I wish that I could wear hats
Without sparking something to recall
I wish that I could wear hats
Without looking any way at all