I Want to Takeoff From a Carrier

I wanna take off from a carrier
Someday before I die
Strap that Viper to a catapult
And watch that sucker fly

Two hundred knots in under two seconds
That's my kind of fun
Do a barrel roll right after takeoff
Just like in Top Gun

But I don't
Wanna land
Allow me to explain
And you'll understand

'Cause it ain't about the landing
Why would I care?
You never have a crosswind
And you never have to flare

You got four fuckin' wires
How could you miss?
I can't think of anything
That's easier than this

Though once you're on the deck, my friend
You're never the same again

'Cause you're stuck on a boat
In the middle of nowhere
With five thousand other men

Join the Navy?
I don't think so
Livin' on a boat
I don't think so
Hot bunkin'
Yeah, I don't think so
Do a night trap? Fuck that
I don't think so

Sure, I thought about the Navy
But decided to pass
I love my five-star hotels
And per diem out the ass

I do all of my fighting
Well within the shore
Cable TV and cappucinos
That's the way you fight a war

This spoiled life
It can grow old

When the coffee ain't fresh...

The sheets ain't soft...

And the beer is only somewhat cold