I Wanna Be a Drug Sniffing Dog

I wanna be a drug-sniffing dog
So I can snort coke all day long
Bite my master when it suits me
Get off on diminished capacity

I wanna be a customs man
And snoop through your stuff cause I can
Sneaky peaky pry through your private lives
Stroke your panties, jack off at lunch

Weh-oh, weh-oh-ho
Sure beats Alpo

It's the life
It's the stink
It's the attitude

I wanna be a San Francisco cop
So I can speed and run red lights
And sure as Rodney was a King
We got ways to make you sing

We can seize everything
Houses, cars, and life savings
Keep the loot for ourselves
Fake drug charge works every time

I wanna join the Christian coalition
So I can molest my children
None suspect me cause I've been saved
'Til my stepdaughter drowns her kids in a lake

Weh-oh, weh-oh-ho
Spared rod spoils the child

It's the life
It's the stink
Choose your masks