I Shoulda Been There...

[Chorus]
She watched me ruin myself
I wasn't there when she needed me most
I couldn't shake off my habits, I tried to find balance
Instead, I found new ways to cope
Drug after drug, going more and more numb
’Til I couldn't feel love, ’til I didn't have hope
She left a note in the condo, it said she was finished
I guess that was murder she wrote
And she ain't around anymore
Life ain't the same anymore
When I try to reach out, I never hеar back
I can't stand that I'm being ignored
I wish things werе different
I wish that I gave her a reason to trust me before
But I wasn't worth her time anyway
We're both exhausted, our love ran it's course

[Verse 1]
Nothing goes right for me, I fuck up everything
I'll be that way ’til I take my last breath
I promise that girl that I'd give her the world
Instead, I gave her thousands of reasons to stress
She took my baggage without even knowing it
I dragged her into my mo’fucking mess
I know there ain't no controlling it, just get it over with
Turn off the thoughts in my head
Fuck all this goddamn anxiety
Fuck all these feelings that I hold inside of me
They caused e problems that caused her to fight with me
Since I was young, I’ve been suffering silently
Every song is a page in my diary
Showcasing sadness, a whole ‘nother side of me
Things I don't share with the rest of society
I let her in, she invaded my privacy
Loyalty's so hard to come by
I found it and I let it slip through my fingers
I know that I'll always regret all those days that I wasted
Cuz pain doesn't end, It just lingers
I spent every second I have reminiscing on us
I miss all of her beautiful features
I'm still so surprised she was mine for a time
I'm a loser, a loner, an underachiever
Remember when I still didn't know who I was
When everything seemed like it wasn't enough
Back then, it wasn't nothing more than fun
Back then, it wasn't nothing more than lust
Then it turned into discussions ‘bout trust
Then it became something bigger than us
She couldn't stay, she decided to run
But I don't blame her cause I'm hard to love
I'm hard to love, yeah I'm hard to love
She can't accept that I actually changed
I can't accept that she's actually done

[Chorus]
She watched me ruin myself
I wasn't there when she needed me most
I couldn't shake off my habits, I tried to find balance
Instead, I found new ways to cope
Drug after drug, going more and more numb
’Til I couldn't feel love, ’til I didn't have hope
She left a note in the condo, it said she was finished
I guess that was murder she wrote
And she ain't around anymore
Life ain't the same anymore
When I try to reach out, I never hear back
I can't stand that I'm being ignored
I wish things were different
I wish that I gave her a reason to trust me before
But I wasn't worth her time anyway
We're both exhausted, our love ran it's course