I’m Not Bragging

If we’re bragging about bragging
And boasting about boasting
The best with the tongue wagging
Shoot a dragon’s mouth open
No joking
I smoke ya soul
Without choking
Place a couple of snipers
At the ransom handover
Bram Stoker the pencil
Hans Solo the venue
Appear from thin air
To take the thrown from your temple
The Bengali Richard Parker
I’m a Benghazi Ferrari car bomb
Spit bars to the car alarms harder
Catch me in the market
With the Maglev flying carpet
Kamikaze diving
Sayonara to the target
Bussing a dusty musket
The musketeer with the swash buckle
Your best emcee is me when I’m rusty
My policy is hit the biggest one first
I can cough splutter, snort, sneeze fart, and burp a better verse
While I got infinite hiccups with my mouth sewn shut
With my feet in concrete parachuting towards the earth
While I land on top of this debt collecting Idiot
Fuck him I’ll pay my debts with my death certificate
The best ever’s the one who invented shagging
How you gonna beat that one? I’m not bragging

Chorus

I’m not bragging

I’m IT the Clown with a serious face
See the tracks of my tears from a scarier place
Go to my grave with my simple homosapien ways
I’m Homer Simpson slash Clark Gable
King of the sofa
Minnesota fats
So relaxed winning 'em over
Nine dart finish
Phil Taylor
Call me Sylar the Watchmaker
Digest your power
I’m Churchill in his finest hour
My mind's the product of Dwight Eisenhower
The truth is out there when you’re blowing your own bugle
Don’t believe me tell E.T. to phone Google
I E-Hnda slap a sumo wrestler with a rolled up newspaper
I’m Madam Medusa slash Danny Laruso
I told 'em I’m colder than a dead witch's cauldron
I scold 'em
Melt down souls and re-mold ‘em
And there’s a lot more gold in the vault
I’ll skin you alive on stage and roll you in salt

I’m not bragging

That bandage on your foot
Is bigger than your head