I’m Gonna Kill Myself

[Verse 1]
There isn't a single day that I enjoy any more
I'm in a battle with addiction and pain, I can't wait any more
Or wade in the water while the leaches bite my core, I'm a whore
I admit it, I climb into people's DMs at night looking for attention
And is that so wrong?
Inspired by a girl who neglected that shit so long
Were those feelings unintended?
Not for me but I believe-
I wasn't made to breathe

[Verse 2]
I was made to stop-
And teach the children a lesson
About how you should live for today and not for the bedroom
For flowers and shit, my powers ain't shit
It's taking a piss on my fucking grave that I'm forced to dig
Stuck in the fridge, man I'm still a kid
With an overexcited dick, never been licked
I just want someone to show me that type of affection
And cuddle me sometime and slowly subside my lung infection

[Bridge]
Where's my happy ending?
Where's my happy ending?
Where's my happy ending?
Where's my happy ending?

[Verse 3]
And then I fall back and hold the breath I wasn't made to take or deserved-
And then I hear my back break on the pavement outside my college dormroom
Didn't wanna warn you but I did, this stupid kid gave himself away
And started stabbing his own ribs with a fork glazed in heartache and cake
That his mama made on his second birthday
Smashed it on my face like my clenched fists of rage when I was eight
And the counselor couldn't take the rage away
And look how time progresses as I'm falling down, I wonder if someone guessed it
The reason why I'm dying is because no one ever professes-
Physical love, the drug of a creep apparently-
I had to leave to outrace the misery of being a human being instead of being me
Suicidal bumblebee who hath fallen into the sea-
Of car wreck tragedies and bombings on the TV
But I was just 18, why did it have to be me?
Why did it have to be me, man?