I’ll Never Smile Again

[Spoken: Alfred Hitchcock]
It was inevitable that I would make a record
After all, my measurements are 33 1/3, 45, and 78
Music to Be Murdered By was conceived in response to thousands of requests from members of my television audience
The program seems to have inspired them to murder
But did not furnish the proper atmosphere for it
It seems that during the commercials the victims kept jumping up and leaving the room
Very annoying
This album will contain no commercials
But I would like to say a kind word for your friendly neighborhood mortician
Our next number is dedicated to him
Ladies and gentlemen:
I'll Never Smile Again

[Instrumental]