I Left My Heart In Papworth General

Precious McKenzie, boy I remember you well
Gob full of tapioca, I would sit and I'd watch you excel
Those legendary rivulets would trickle on down to your chin
But I always wondered what you did when you packed it all in

What are you doing today?
What have you done with the money?
How much did Singleton pay?
Do you think you were misunderstood?
I do

Down at Stoke Mandeville I bumped into Mr IQ
I said "Hey albino, this is not 1972
Stub out your King Edward and get that small boy off your knee
And melt down your fingerware and get yourself off my TV"

Jim could you fix it for me
To come down and suck out your kidneys?
I've got this young brother, you see
Who wants to stay alive to watch Bilko

When I'm pining for a cigarette
I think of all the free ones that I'd get
If I killed myself and came back as a beagle

I left my heart in Papworth General