I Don’t Wanna Live (Like This)

[Verse]
I saw my therapist yesterday morning
I told him I’ll be fine until we meet for next week
And I’m glad he didn’t ask me to define what fine means to me
‘Cause right now it’s looking pretty bleak

When I can’t brush my teeth without turning on the TV
And I haven’t really slept in a week

[Chorus]
I don’t wanna live
Like this anymore
So don’t tell me that I’m doing better
I don’t wanna live
Like I’m keeping score
I’m sick and perpetually pissed
I don’t wanna live like this

[Verse]
Before I open my eyes I open my iPhone
Checking all the red dots ’til they’re gone
And I refresh and refresh until i’m so goddamn depressed
‘Cause i don't know how to accept that and move on

And I’ve been told that I should work harder
And I’ve been told I need to give myself a fucking break
And I don’t know who to believe because I sure as fuck can’t trust me
You would not believe the mess I fucking make

[Chorus]
I don’t wanna live
Like this anymore
So don’t tell me that I’m doing better
I don’t wanna live
Like I’m keeping score
I’m sick and perpetually pissed
I don’t wanna live like this

[Verse]
So the passing thought of death
Leads me into such a panic
So ecstatic and chronic I could cry
My therapist says that it’s
Good I wanna live so bad
It’s so oxymoronic I could die