I don’t see this working out

I’m sitting on my bathroom floor
Dry heaving and texting you and spitting up bile
Your presence in the universe makes me uncomfortable with living
But your presence in the universe makes me smile

You make me feel like middle school
Like nothing makes sense, like I’ve never done this before
You make me feel like middle school
Like nothing makes sense, like I’ve never done this before

I don’t see this working out
But I’ll waste my time here, 'cause I don’t see anyone else
You’re the closest I’ve come to finding someone I can see with myself
We’re not that close
And this distance is hell

Lying on my basement floor, being in denial
Live inside the phone calls we had
And I think about your voice and I'll try to be less sad
For just long enough to start thinking clearly
About how to put into words that I’m not all that bad

And if you can look past all the fears, and all the flaws
And how, more recently we hardly even talk
I’m just hoping for an ending that makes this destination worth the walk

But you left me here
And you left me scared
You left while I was picking up my things from the side of the highway
In the wake of a car crash
I couldn’t have been less prepared
I just needed to know that you cared
I needed something to be glad that I lived for
And I came back to nothing there

I'm sorry, I'm a disgusting representation of a romantic
Oh, I make myself so sick with the way I refuse to get over this
You say that I make you uncomfortable
You make me comfortable, so I should probably leave
At what point did I get so nervous?
At what point did I scare you away from me?

I swear to fucking something, in the next year, I’m gonna fall in love
You couldn’t face, you’re the face set out in front of me
You weren’t enough

So tell me that I’m barking up the wrong tree
Tell me that there’s nothing between you and me
Tell me that I don’t know you well enough to think these things
Tell me this is crazy
You think I’m being crazy

I wanna see the bad in you
I wanna see the blight in you
I wanna see something I don’t like in you
Something to combat me idealizing you
And if I still think that I could fall in love with you
And I’ll know that there’s nothing that I can do
And I’ll know that there’s nothing that I can do
I’ll let go just as soon as you tell me to
I’ll let go just as soon as you tell me to

I guess I’ll stay here on the floor for a while