I Caught Santa Breaking And Entering

[Chorus: Collin Smith & Clinton Smith]
Santa can suck my balls tonight
Santa can suck my balls (My balls)
Santa can suck my balls tonight
Santa can suck my balls (Suck my balls)
Santa can suck my balls tonight
Santa can suck my balls (My balls)
Santa can suck my balls tonight
Santa can suck my balls

[Verse 1: Collin Smith]
3 AM and I just saw that fat guy
Crawl in the house from the chimney (Chimney)
I grabbed my sawed off shotgun
And blew off his stubby little arms and his wee wee (Wee wee)
Plucked out his eyes with a shotgun shell
Santa Claus is going straight to Hell
I took a crap on his new sleigh bells
Stole all his money, tied him up with his belt
Cut him up slowly, slicing his feet
Wrappin' up his body with a poop stained sheet
Should've stayed home on Christmas Eve
But it ain't over 'til he's down six feet deep
Rippin' off his toenails, pullin' out some teeth
I tried to hang him with a Christmas wreath
But he's so fat that he broke the ceiling
I went to the pawn shop and sold his wedding ring

[Chorus: Collin Smith & Clinton Smith]
Santa can suck my balls tonight
Santa can suck my balls (My balls)
Santa can suck my balls tonight
Santa can suck my balls (Suck my balls)
Santa can suck my balls tonight
Santa can suck my balls (My balls)
Santa can suck my balls tonight
Santa can suck my balls

[Verse 2: Jacob Watson]
I tied him up with rope
Put his penis in his mouth
So he couldn't scream and shout
This is going real south
But not the South Pole 'cause he lives in the North
Mr. Claus is a whore
He doesn't live there anymore
Gonna pop Santa's balls before the cops get called
I put his head on my wall
That's how we deck the halls
Not talkin' cough drops
Chop off Rudolph's cock
Get off my block
Pop Glocks like they're Pop Rocks
And now we're gettin' bigger and bigger
Santa Claus is just a sinner
Eat his bones for Christmas dinner
Santa's just a dirty ni-
Oh, then I realize that Santa is my dad
This is really, really bad
But he raped me as an infant
Traumatized me in an instant
Dad? Dad! Dad! Eh, it's not that big of a deal

[Chorus: Collin Smith & Clinton Smith]
Santa can suck my balls tonight
Santa can suck my balls (My balls)
Santa can suck my balls tonight
Santa can suck my balls (Suck my balls)
Santa can suck my balls tonight
Santa can suck my balls (My balls)
Santa can suck my balls tonight
Santa can suck my balls

[Verse 3: Clinton Smith]
Santa broke into my home
So I shot that fatty right in his dome
This 12 gauge is chrome
He was hard as stone
I was scared 'cause I was home alone
And didn't have time for a phone (Brr)
Maybe my house ain't the place to roam
Snapped his arm and stabbed him with his own bone
So I guess there's no presents for my kids
But it wasn't my fault, it was just his
And don't get it confused, Santa has no rizz
Mrs. Claus is just a gold diggin' witch
Ain't no cookies for a fatty, just a knuckle sandwich
Tied the noose around his neck and drug him by my own hitch
Drove him to Whoville and fed him to the Grinch
Buried Rudolph alive 'cause I knew he'd be a snitch
Stupid fatty got merked
My bad, I was off a perk
Put him on a t-shirt
Now he's six feet under dirt

[Chorus: Collin Smith & Clinton Smith]
Santa can suck my balls tonight
Santa can suck my balls (My balls)
Santa can suck my balls tonight
Santa can suck my balls (Suck my balls)
Santa can suck my balls tonight
Santa can suck my balls (My balls)
Santa can suck my balls tonight
Santa can suck my balls

[Outro: Collin Smith]
(Santa can suck my balls tonight Santa can suck my balls)
Yeah
(Santa can suck my balls tonight Santa can suck my balls)
We're coming after you Santa
(Santa can suck my balls tonight Santa can suck my balls)
Don't break in my house
(Santa can suck my balls tonight Santa can suck my balls)
Blip