I Can’t Keep up with the Holidays

[Verse 1]
What the hell do you want? I'm broke
Trying to keep the goddamn heat on
This season is a fucking joke
I’m struggling to make the rent on time
I hope the landlord chokes on my last penny
On December 25th
I've got nothing in my pockets
And you're asking for all of it, so

[Chorus]
Merry goddamn Christmas
Hope you get plenty of presents
Sorry that I can’t afford to
Show you that I give a shit aside from
Spending time with you
So merry goddamn Christmas

[Verse 2]
Everywhere, I see a fucking ad
"Twenty percent off of your mad outrageous order
If you add the coupon 'Santa's little bitch' upon your checkout"
Fucking tone deaf corporations
Reaching for your empty wallets
Turn around and blame inflation
Making record fucking profits

[Chorus]
Merry goddamn Christmas
Hope you get plenty of presents
Sorry that I can't afford to
Show you that I give a shit aside from
Spending time with you (Spending time with you)
Merry goddamn Christmas
Hope you get plenty of presents
Sorry that I can't afford to
Show you that I give a shit aside from
Spending time with you
So merry goddamn Christmas

[Bridge]
Twenty dollars doesn't do what it used to
But I don't make more money than I did back then
Every December, I’m a little more depressed
Every new year, I start right back where I began
Twenty dollars doesn’t do what it used to
(I can't keep up with the holidays)
But I don’t make more money than I did back then
(Someone give me a fucking break)
Every December, I'm a little more depressed
(I don't know how I'll keep the lights on)
Every new year, I start right back where I began
Fa-la-la-la (Shut the fuck up)

[Chorus]
Merry goddamn Christmas
Hope you get plenty of presents
Sorry that I can’t afford to
Show you that I give a shit aside from
Spending time with you (Spending time with you)
Merry goddamn Christmas
Hope you get plenty of presents
Sorry that I can't afford to
Show you that I give a shit aside from
Spending time with you

[Outro]
So merry goddamn Christmas (Spending time with you)
Merry goddamn Christmas
You're all on my shit list (Spending time with you)
Merry goddamn Christmas
Merry goddamn Christmas (Christmas, merry goddamn Christmas)