I Can’t Do It Alone

[EMCEE, spoken]
Ladies and gentleman, Miss Velma Kelly in an act of desperation

[VELMA]
My sister and I had an act that couldn't flop
My sister and I were headed straight for the top
My sister and I earned a thou' a week at least... oh, yeah
But my sister is now unfortunately deceased
I know it's sad, of course, but a fact is still a fact
And now all that remains is the remains of a perfect... double... act!

(spoken)
Watch this! Now, you have to imagine it with two people. It's swell with two people

(sung)
First I'd...
Then she'd...
Then we'd...
But I can't do it alone
Then she'd...
Then I'd...
Then we'd...
But I can't do it alone

She'd say "what's your sister like?"
I'd say "men"
She'd say "you're the cat's meow"
Then we'd wow the crowd again

When she'd go...
I'd go...
We'd go...
Then those ding-dong daddies started to roar
Whistled, stomped, stamped on the floor
Yelling, screamin', beggin' for more

(spoken)
And we'd say "ok, fellas, keep your socks up, 'cause you ain't seen nothin' yet"

(sung)
But I simply cannot do it alone

[spoken]
So what'd you think, huh? Come on, you can say

[Roxie makes a sound indicating she thinks it's bad.]

I know, you're right, the first part's shit. But the second part—the second part is really nifty! Ok

(sung)
She'd go...
I'd go...
We'd go...
And then those two-bit Johnnys did it up brown
To cheer the best attraction in town
They nearly tore the balcony down

(spoken)
And we'd say "ok boys, we're goin' home. But before we go, here's a few more partin' shots". And this—this we did in perfect unison

(sung)
Now you see me going through it
You may think there's nothing to it
But I simply cannot do it
Alone