How To Get Your Band On Television

I'm the Boss of the company,
And I've got hunger working for me!
Listen and you'll begin to understand:
I built my profits on stolen land;
It's the economics of supply and demand,
And I make the demands around here!

Product sells, people die
Same manipulation wrapped in lies
Give a little money and play your rock and roll
The biggest prizes to the biggest fools

Good evening ladies and gentlemen. Welcome to the show where you the audience participate. On our show tonight we got lots of surprises in store for you at home. In keeping with the fashion for charity, not change, here's our contribution - we've called it Slag Aid: for every pop star that we slag off today, a million pounds will be given away!

Paul McCartney - come on down!
With crocodile tears to irrigate this ground
Make of Ethiopia a fertile paradise
Where everyone sings Beatles songs and buys shares in EMI!

Charity, starvation, and rock and roll! Let it be, eh Paulie?

Freddie Mercury - this is your life!
Thank the Lord that you were born white
And thank apartheid for this wonderful opportunity
To peddle your hypocrisy in Sun City!

A bit of a hot potato in a moment, eh Fred, in South Africa? Well I'm sure there's a video in there somewhere.

David Bowie - the price is right!
With a suitful of compassion and a gobful of shite
Still the voices of those who doubt
Coca-Cola for the peasants to end this drought!

David the world can only take so much, and with you around, we're in for a really hard time!

Jagger and Richards - game for a laugh!
Dancing us down the garden path
To a place where money grows on trees
Where cocaine habits are financed by hunger and disease!

There's only one mountain in the rock and roll business, Ladies and Gentlemen, and it's Mick Jagger!

Ask the puppet-masters who pull the strings
"Who makes the money when the puppets sing?"
Ask the corporations, "Where does the money go?"
Ask the empty-bellied children: "What are we singing for?"

And Cliff Richard - 3, 2, 1!
The God who remains when the religion's gone:
Cliff, we've got a special surprise for you today
So come up closer; step this way!
Cliff, you're such an example of moral worth;
Such a purist saint come to bless our earth
That on behalf of our viewers watching on telly
And on behalf of the millions with empty bellies
We're donating something special that we're all going to like:
Cliff Richard, we're going to nail you up to a cross tonight!!

Ladies and gentlemen, just imagine it - someone comes along, takes everything you own, your space, your house; separates you from your family and then hits you in the face if you say anything different. Well, that's what we've been doing to the Third World for the past 400 years. That's YOU and ME. You the viewers at home, me in the studio, the pop stars, everyone. That's how we make the Third World, every day, today and every day. If you want any correspondence with the programme, just send your answers - LETTER BOMBS ONLY! - to:
BP House
Victoria Street
London, SW1
Thank you and goodnight! Feed the World, Starve the Rich... goodnight!

I know there must be more
I know there must be more
Than giving just a little bit more
When half of this world is so helplessly poor
Starved of the real solution
Charity and tradition
And the cycle of hungry children
Will keep on going 'round
I know there must be more
Will keep on going 'round
I know there must be more
Will keep on going 'round
I know there must be more
'Till we burn the House of Commons to the ground