How to Get Girls 4 Dummies

I know you're tired of waiting
And all you want is to get laid-ies
To say that:
You've got the sexiest like personalitay
That I have seen on the boards this week
Eep! now kiss me on the cheek, you geek!
I was thinking i'd bump shoulders with a friend or a cousin
But turns out I've met my future husband!"

Now, most guys I know would tell you to come to
The party or boardwalk prepared with a number:

"That's ephemerally generated for genuine feminists
Who eminently paint their faces to end their depression
By pretending to be women with toilet paper rolls as breasts
And pants that arent really pants but cut off halfway down the chest
And a cute little vest with a crest that says "FREE HUGS!"
AND WHAT RHYMES WITH HUG ME!?"

Next, they'd instruct you to take this number
And stumble across a broad selection of broads to seduce and take under
The boards and ignore the ugly friend who provided them with a ride to the shore

Do this, and I assure
You will get slores 'till you turn 24 and
Then all youre left with is oral sores
From the whores you dont know anymore

OR!

You've got "Bad Day" on replay
And even your weekends are weak days
Shaking an 8 ball like Haiti
Praying you'll get just one number!, Well maybe!
But probably not, and I'm sorry to say, but
You gotta keep training to get the ladies
I know it sounds like a loco motive
But take it from someone who knows it, homie

You want an evil slut, huh?
Dem hoes are like Lucifer
You gotta fight for a Titan bruh!
Or you're gonna lose her!

What I'm saying is maybe you just take a break from the constant persuasion of summer vacation and take it from one or a trillion statements that come from the face of a kid who has made it through fire and flames and has found that one lady that saved him from hating the life he had made and what you'll take away from this short essay is
That it's a run on sentence

Unless you're exempt from the select few human beings who know how to read, you scleeb
Stop dreaming of going to strawberry fields
Or the sweet stuff is gonna suck, like the trucks that think its a good idea to push all the snow from the street in front of my driveway

And when you eventually get married to your husband or wife for the rest of your life
Wow its in your vows you got the snow plow going forty times
Whores are bores for boys who score on shores and boards with no effort
But get F for it while I'm in the house like Cory
Figuratively castrate me? Ask me your catastrophe?
Congrats this is your trophy
There's a troche writ in trochee:

You should never cheat to beat the game again you sinful chode
What you wrote's a lonely note for morning's tide to soon erode