How Marvin Eats His Breakfast

[MARVIN]
I love being Marvin
I love being Marvin
Marvin always eats
The finest breakfast in town

[LADIES]
How Marvin eats his breakfast

[MARVIN]
Everybody into the kitchen
Here comes Marvin
Banging his groin with his fist

[LADIES]
He mumbles in, to insist:

[MARVIN]
No one looks busy in this kitchen
And my breakfast isn't ready
And my stomach aches
I mean specifically the maid
Who is reclining like she's laid the golden egg

I want some chatter and some gruel
Make me wanna drool
Try to make me hungry
Cat got your tongue?

[LADIES]
Marvin always knows the sort of answers he'll allow

[MARVIN]
I may be sly, dear, but not young

[LADIES]
"Wait until I'm older, then I'll kill you" is his one unspoken vow

[MARVIN]
I need my breakfast now

[ALL]
Everybody into the kitchen
Here comes Marvin

[LADIES]
Aiming a gun at the maid;
He shoots her head; she falls dead

[MARVIN]
O Jesus Christ, it wasn't loaded
She's an actor from the old school
And a lousy chef
I don't want miracles from heaven
Just some eggies over spinach over toast

No, I will not apologize!
She should win a prize:
"Very best emoting"

That girl can't cook

[LADIES]
Maybe she can't cook, but have you seen her milk a cow?

[MARVIN]
And I can read her like a book

[LADIES]
Marvin wouldn't read that kind of novel anyhow

[MARVIN]
I need my breakfast
Now

[MARVIN]
People, people
Stop your staring
People, people, stop your staring
Get to work my breakfast isn't made yet
[LADIES]
...people, people
...stop your staring

People, people, stop your staring. Get to work my breakfast isn't-
[ALL]
Life is lonely
Life is rotten

[MARVIN]
And thankfully short
Thankfully short
Thankfully short

[LADIES]
Like Marvin

[ALL]
Everybody into the kitchen
Here comes

[MARVIN]
M-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m...

[ALL]
Marvin!

[LADIES]
Waving his hands like a twit
He throws a fit
Then a knife

[MARVIN]
You call this breakfast on my birthday?
This is shit
This isn't breakfast
I could crack your feet

I mean for God's sake
Am I talking to the wall?
When I say breakfast
I mean food

I dreamt all night of hips and legs
Now I want some eggs:
Things I might relate to

I'm just a sprite

[LADIES]
Marvin underestimates the fear that he'll endow

[MARVIN]
I'll wait here till you get it right!

[LADIES]
Do I? Do I really? Do I really have to show you people how?

[MARVIN]
I need my breakfast

[ALL]
Now