House Ape

Well Cookie said to get us a house ape (House Ape, House Ape)
Too little time, too many chores
Everybody wants their own primate (House Ape, House Ape)
To sweep and mop the living room floors

Well everybody loves a monkey (House Ape, House Ape)
And I love a monkey too
I even have a Paul Frank wallet
But that’s like from 2002

Who would have thought
That we could afford
A domesticated [??] of our own
A cook and a maid and security and a pet
And a real life monkey in our home

Do you remember when Baby Caesar (House Ape, House Ape)
Was born at the L.A. Zoo
I was that excited and I said
“Oh, House Ape! Go clean up my room!”

Oh yes we’ve got a house ape (House Ape, House Ape)
I’m having the time of my life
If it wasn’t hairy and smelly
It might be the perfect wife (Hey, Baby)

Who would have thought
That we could afford
A domesticated [??] of our own
A cook and a maid and security and a pet
And a real life monkey in our home

Stop your monkeying around
It’s time you straighten right out
It’s time that you fold my laundry
Or else I’ll take you back to the zoo

Oh, House Ape
A message to you, House Ape
A message to you

(Get your dirty paws off of me)

Well things are great
Yeah they’re just great
I kinda wish it back to how it was
‘Cause Cookie loves a wookie
And it’s better than nookie
But I’m having my doubts because

Chandeliers aren’t monkey bars
Hand gets stuck in the cookie jar
Not as tidy as you’d think
It leaves hair in the sink
Gave the neighbors quite a fright
Stays up late watching Xena all night
Can’t do sign language, that’s not all
It just pooped in the hall

So we decided to get rid of the House Ape (House Ape, House Ape)
Shot it with a tranquilizer dart
Then we dressed it up like a clown (House Ape, House Ape)
And set it free in Miles Square Park