Hooked on Ebonics

[Man 1]
Oh, man we broke my room, you know what I'm saying? That shit was crazy!

[Man 2]
Your girlfriend need to bring her own air freshener!

[Man 1]
Air freshener, that's what I'm talking about

[Man 3]
Excuse me, do any of you deaf homies wish to accompany me back to my crib at the university, well you see I just received a patent to create a home study course called Hooked on Ebonics, and I sure would love to -

[Men]
Ebonics?

[Man 3]
Ebonics, yes, and I sure would love to capture the native sound of you deaf homies

[Men]
The native sound? Say what?

[Man 3]
Funky fresh, funky fresh, I'm down, yo, yoyo I can gеt with it, you know what I'm saying? But I would like to have you back to my crib, at the univеrsity. I've also recently acquired some rare ghetto-field hip-hop recordings, and I would love to have y'all listen to it, to see if you could figure out Hoobie Bust and the mad-whack funky lyrics. What do y'all say? Hey, see that coat you're wearing sure is mighty fat!

[Man 1]
Yeah yeah, you know you colonialists sure are interested in the language of us natives here in the bush. Why don't you try Vanilla Fudge at the bar, he looks pretty obliging or something

[Man 3]
I don't understand your mockery. I just explained to you that I received the highest order of training in ebonics. I am now professor and mariatus(?) of ebonics. This, coupled with my extensive in-the-field sociological research, I cannot only validate your language, but I am extremely fluent in ghetto-speak! Ebonics, your language!

[Man 4]
Ebonics? Yo, that's fucked up! That's not a language, cuz, that's a dialect! Shit, y'all are always looking for some lazy-ass excuse to write off Black folk

[Man 5]
Word up! Besides, that shit - it varies from region to region

[Man 4]
Wisconsin, we changin'!

[Man 5]
You know, you're patronizing

[Man 4]
Demoralizing

[Man 5]
Categorizing

[Men 4 and 5, together]
Dumb as shit!

[Man 3]
Well that's just fine, just fine. I understand that perspective coming from an undernourished street mind that y'all are forced to inhabit. I - It's perfectly valid to - Wow! Oh, woah! Look at that fine sister over there, giving me the eye! What an incredible backside! She be tripping my shit, you know what I'm saying? Boys, I ought to slide up and tap that ass. Say, my beautiful Nubian sister, you sure be slamming! Yes sir! That ass is boomin'! Why don't you come chill with me back in the crib, you know? Just lay in the cut! I've got some fresh dope fat jams! I don't keep it on the down-low! You know how we do! So deaf, you are. I got mad crazy skins. We can knock those boots all night long! Just keepin' it real, I be!

But I'm so dope! So fat! We can bounce on my ride! I've got sixteen switches for obi-fine bitches! I'm rollin' in the six deuce, dammit! I am fresh! I am all that and a bag of chips! Come on, then! Somebody rockin' knockin' these boots! All night long! All night long!