Hey John Wayne

[Verse 1]
The mighty grunion are rising up and storming the beach
And on the toll road, the trolls are slipping out of their leash

[Chorus 1]
Hey, John Wayne
It's good to see you when I get off the plane
Your bronze skin's turned pale
And he says, "Pilgrim, tell me, how did I fail?"

[Verse 2]
On Fascist Island, the reservoir is taking a leak
The money boys and boy toys are sexually reaching their peak

[Chorus 2]
Hey, John Wayne
We can't get credit, and we're feeling your pain
Marion said
"My hands are bleeding, and I wish I were dead!"

[Bridge 1]
Coming down with
Deep neurosis
Carcinoma
Keratosis
It's the Big C
For my Sharona
I got that O.C
Melanoma

[Chorus 3]
Hey, John Wayne
We never meant to take your name in vain
He says, "It's too late
I guess I'll always be your patron saint"

[Guitar Solo]

[Verse 1]
The mighty grunion are rising up and storming the beach
And on the toll road, the trolls are slipping out of their leash

[Chorus 1]
Yeah, hey, John Wayne
It's good to see you when I get off the plane
Your bronze skin's turned pale
He says, "Pilgrim, tell me, how did I fail?"
How did I fail?

[Bridge 2]
So please release us
(John, John, John, John)
Put back the pieces
(John, John, John, John)
Heal our diseases
(John, John, John, John)
Extend our leases
(John, John, John, John)
The well has run dry
(John, John, John, John)
We need a dead eye
(John, John, John, John)
We need a tough guy
(John, John, John, John)
To save us from the mess that we're in
(John, John, John, John)
(Hey John, hey John Wayne)
Hey, John Wayne
(Hey John, hey John Wayne)
Hey, John Wayne
(Hey John, hey John Wayne)
Hey, Duke!
(Hey John, hey John Wayne)

[Outro]
A majestic, mighty warrior is rising up and storming the beach