Headfirst Slide into Cooperstown on a Bad Bet

[Verse 1]
Mr. Sandman showing his beam
When he walks into the room, the walls lean in to listen
Surfed-out brain waves flick back and forth
Like old headlights sniffing model glue again
Head like a steel trap, wish I didn't, I didn't
I didn't, I didn't, I didn't, I didn't, I didn't, I don't
Just want to be a footnote
In someone else's happiness

[Pre-Chorus]
Does your husband know the way that
The sunshine gleams from your wedding band?
Does he know the way, does he know the way
Of the crickets that would convince me to call it a night?

[Chorus]
But I will never end up like him
Behind my back, I already am
Keep a calendar, this way you will always know
The last time you came through
Oh darling, I know what you're goin' through
The last time you came through
Oh darling, oh darling, oh darling

[Verse 2]
Aww, tempest in a teacup, get unique
Peroxide princess, shine like shark teeth
It's a sign (It's a sign), it's a sign (It's a sign)
It's a sign, what if you peaked early?

[Pre-Chorus]
And does your husband know the way that
The sunshine gleams from your wedding band?
Does he know the way, does he know the way
Of the crickets that would convince me to call it a night?
Does he, does he know the way
I worship our love?
And does your husband know the way
That the sunshine gleams from your wedding band?

[Chorus]
But I will never end up like him
Behind my back, I already am
Keep a calendar, this way you will always know
The last time you came through
Oh darling, I know what you're goin' through
The last time you came through
Oh darling, oh darling, oh darling

[Bridge]
Oh, does your husband know? Does your husband know?
Does your husband know?
Does he know? Does he know?
Does he know?

[Chorus]
But I will never end up like him
Behind my back, I already am
Keep a calendar, this way you will always know
Oh, the last time you came through
Oh darling, I know what you're goin' through
The, the last time you came through
Oh darling, I know what you're goin' through