Hamhock’s Hall Was Big (And There Was A Whole Lot To Dig!)

And you could feel all the tension building up at the convention
As the hustlers began to arrive
Must've been 9 thousand or more that came through the door
The time was 11:55
There were pick pockets and dope peddlers, murderers and theives
Card shark gamblers with aces up their sleeves
Bank robbers, burglers, boosters and pimps
Prostitutes, call girls, all kinds of nymphs
Load sharks, swindlers, counterfeiters, and fencers
Crooked politicians spending 'campaign expenses'
High jackers, arsonists, bookies in the mob
And anybody else who had ever killed, cheated or robbed

A ex-pug named Brown proceeded to pat us down
While this fine broad checked our hats
Grit nodded to him slightly and Brown shook us down slightly
Treating us like diplomats
Brown let us slide, so we went inside with our .38 strapped to our chest
Without making a sound we slowly looked around
And scoped at all the rest of the guests

Hamhock's Hall was big so there was a whole lot to dig
As our eyes quickly scanned the place
The decor was fly and everyone looked high
As I focused on a familiar face
There was Stingy Brim Slim and his crime partner Jim
Two hustlers from a long ways back
They were dressed to the bone and their reputations were well known
As bagmen on kilos of smack
They were rapping with Big Bill Wheeler, international dope dealer
About who was gonna win tonight
Bill had bet a grand on a hustler named Vann
Who supposedly had his shit up tight
But me and Spoon, we just grinned as we continued to pin
To see who else was there
We spotted Finger-Poppin' Teddy and his call girl Betty
Whose perfume had lit up the air
I recalled the past, and how Teddy's rep had spread fast
From being so swift with his hands
From the wallet in your pocket, to a ring, watch or locket
And specialized in expensive brands
Now Betty, it was said, could kill a greyboy in bed
And make the chump submit, they would come before they came
Then she would pick-pocket the lame, while telling him that he wasn't shit
My eyes caught a glimpse of two superfly pimps
Who had just come through the door
I could tell they were down from out of town
Just by the clothes that they wore
Like a peacock's parade, they strutted around in silk slacks
Handmade, sporting tan alligator shoes
Decked out in colorful shirts of pink, yellow, and red
Stitched in a gold blue thread
And acting like they couldn't lose
Spoon and I were impressed by the way these cats were dressed
And how smooth they seemed to be
But there was one thing we knew for sure
And that's that couldn't be no draw
Between us masters of streetology
We didn't find out 'til later from a booster named Ada
The moniker that these cats went by
They were known as Spongie Cork from out of Harlem, New York
And his partner Chicago Shy

By now champagne was flowing, the big band was blowing
As the musicians gave it all they had
Some cats were dancing, others were romancing
But everybody's head was bad
The joint was packed back to back
And the hustlers were eager to begin
They were ready to play from night 'til day
Cause all of them wanted to win
There were private rooms in the rear, at the top of the stairs
For the studs who wanted to lay
But the main set was below for the cats with the dough
Hustlers who had come there to play
We were now ready to oppose our illustrious foes
So we made it downstairs to the set
It was a quarter after one, and the players had already begun
Bidding on their opening bet