Four Bitches Is What I Got

"Bet a Grand, bet two
Is that the best y'all can do?
Bet three, bet four, I'll raise you two more"

The poker table was crowded and heavily enshrouded
With the smoke of the player's cigars
They were drinking and smoking, and snorting and coking
And being watched by two underworld czars
There were seven cats playing but only three of them was staying
'Cause the other four dudes had to fold
These three studs were hot and had one heavy pot
Whilst the other cats hands were cold
There were playing five card draw and had won premature
And just knew that they had it made
So we decided we'd liven up the pot by coppin' a squat
Cause we were much more harder to persuade
Big Bill Wheeler had been the dealer
Along with Spongy and Shy
They had played it slick and used the Indian giver trick
Then let the other four cats comply
We copped our squats, then anted the pot
The figure was set at a grand
We sat across one another so we could dig one another
And signal when we copped a hand
With our motions concealed, we each cut for the deal
Then passed around the pack
First Spongy and I, then Bill, Spoon, and Shy
Who was the first man to come up with a jack
Shy broke out a new deck which I asked to inspect
Before we all embarked
I checked out the front, sides and the back
Then let Spoon cut the pack
Satisfied that the cards weren't marked
He shuffled and dealed with nerves of steel
Commanding our quiet respect
After receiving my hand, I signaled to my man
To open up indirect
Spoon coughed back twice, letting me know he was nice
Sitting there with three of a kind
But first he'd have to lure them in
And think they could win
By making our attacks combined
Spongy opened for a grand and the play began
But not until they paid the price
Cause I quickly raised his bet, with my jaws dead set
With my face like a sheet of ice
It was now on Bill, to assert his will
And call my raise of twenty
But he ended his bout by copping out
Saying "That's Boo-Koo bucks too many"
Spoon diagnosed the effects as his turn came next
Just like I expected him to, he didn't call my bet
And Shy began to sweat
Trying to figure out what he should do
And soon realized that he couldn't last
So he reluctantly passed
And it was now on Spongy again
After wiping away his sweat he called my bet
Then raised me another ten
But by now we had cramped their style
And had Spongy's mind beguiled
So he didn't know what to do
I then folded my hand according to plan
Giving Spoon the green light cue
Spoon tripled his ten and it was on Spongy again
To raise, call, or die
The pressure was so great he had to deliberate
Before he could get his reply
After a five minute stall, he finally called
Saying "I'll take two cards my man"
Spoon also took two and the tension grew
As to who had the better hand
Spoon soon signaled with a nod
Indicating he had received a card
He needed to make four of a kind
Meanwhile Spongy had raised him another ten
Saying "Its on you my friend"
Trying to put my man in a bind
But Spoon took it in stride as he quickly complied
And dealt with the situation
He put his ten G's in the pot saying
"Now let's see what you got"
Without the slightest hesitation
Spongy laid down his hand saying "Four studs, my man"
And reached over to scoop the pot
But Spoon stopped him cold saying
"Its about time you were told
Four bitches is what I got"