Growltiger’s Last Stand

GROWLTIGER was a Bravo Cat, who lived upon a barge;
In fact he was the roughest cat that ever roamed at large
From Gravesend up to Oxford he pursued his evil aims
Rejoicing in his title of "The Terror of the Thames."

His manners and appearance did not calculate to please;
His coat was torn and seedy, he was baggy at the knees;
One ear was somewhat missing, no need to tell you why
And he scowled upon a hostile world from one forbidding eye

The cottagers of Rotherhithe knew something of his fame
At Hammersmith and Putney people shuddered at his name
They would fortify the hen-house, lock up the silly goose
When the rumour ran along the shore: GROWLTIGER'S ON THE LOOSE!

Woe to the weak canary, that fluttered from its cage;
Woe to the pampered Pekinese, that faced Growltiger's rage
Woe to the bristly Bandicoot, that lurks on foreign ships
And woe to any Cat with whom Growltiger came to grips!

But most to Cats of foreign race his hatred had been vowed;
To Cats of foreign name and race no quarter was allowed
The Persian and the Siamese regarded him with fear--
Because it was a Siamese had mauled his missing ear

Now on a peaceful summer night, all nature seemed at play
The tender moon was shining bright, the barge at Molesey lay
All in the balmy moonlight it lay rocking on the tide--
And Growltiger was disposed to show his sentimental side

His bucko mate, GRUMBUSKIN, long since had disappeared
For to the Bell at Hampton he had gone to wet his beard;
And his bosun, TUMBLEBRUTUS, he too had stol'n away-
In the yard behind the Lion he was prowling for his prey

In the forepeak of the vessel Growltiger sate alone
Concentrating his attention on the Lady GRIDDLEBONE
And his raffish crew were sleeping in their barrels and their bunks--
As the Siamese came creeping in their sampans and their junks

Growltiger had no eye or ear for aught but Griddlebone
And the Lady seemed enraptured by his manly baritone
Disposed to relaxation, and awaiting no surprise--
But the moonlight shone reflected from a thousand bright blue eyes

And closer still and closer the sampans circled round
And yet from all the enemy there was not heard a sound
The lovers sang their last duet, in danger of their lives--
For the foe was armed with toasting forks and cruel carving knives
Then GILBERT gave the signal to his fierce Mongolian horde;
With a frightful burst of fireworks the Chinks they swarmed aboard
Abandoning their sampans, and their pullaways and junks
They battened down the hatches on the crew within their bunks

Then Griddlebone she gave a screech, for she was badly skeered;
I am sorry to admit it, but she quickly disappeared
She probably escaped with ease, I'm sure she was not drowned--
But a serried ring of flashing steel Growltiger did surround

The ruthless foe pressed forward, in stubborn rank on rank;
Growltiger to his vast surprise was forced to walk the plank
He who a hundred victims had driven to that drop
At the end of all his crimes was forced to go ker-flip, ker-flop

Oh there was joy in Wapping when the news flew through the land;
At Maidenhead and Henley there was dancing on the strand
Rats were roasted whole at Brentford, and at Victoria Dock
And a day of celebration was commanded in Bangkok