Good Guy with A Gun

[Ensemble]
Whoo!

[VEEP, spoken]
As your Vice President, I am honored to convey a message from Dear Leader, who is busy doing other important things
He has ordered us to drop our bombs on cheatin' China

[Ensemble]
(General approval, celebratory sounds)

[VEEP]
Matters of state used to feel complicated, nuanced, frustrating
But no longer

(sung)
America used to struggle, too much give, too little take
Goldarn-gee of politics give us a bellyache
But now we have Dear Leader, with highfalutin skills
And here's our new solution for a litany of ills:

Good guy with a gun, good guy with a gun
Nothing says "I love you" like
A good guy with a gun

[Ensemble, sung]
Oooooh
Oooooh

[VEEP]
It's time to get real tough with folks so's we's can liberate 'em
Drop our bombs to help 'em, and not because we hate 'em
We're kind to all out friends and stray dogs that come along
That's how we know our hearts are right and we can do no wrong

Goog guy with a gun

[Ensemble, simultaneously]
Oooh

[All]
Good guy with a gun
Life can be so simple for
A good guy

[VEEP]
With a gun
You'll never lose face when your finger's on the trigger
The world's a scary place, so get a gun that's bigger!

[Female Ensemble]
Smile more, smile more
I must confess under all of this ooh-ing
I'm faking, heart breaking
Dancing

[Hillary]
And unglueing
But I'll smile harder
Through this massive repression
Til my war can be more than

[Female Ensemble, simultaneously]
Just smile
Just smile
Smile, smile

[Female Ensemble and Hillary]
Just my own passive aggression

[VEEP]
"I love you's" just a nice try
If you end up a dead guy
Those words mean more when said by
A good guy with a gun
Dangerous work in every corner all across our land

[All]
We're rugged individuals

[VEEP]
Don't give me your hand
A real man knows he stands alone
He depends on no one
That's why no American—

(spoken)
No American would throw away his gun
(Laughs) Come on!

[All]
Good guy with a gun
Good guy with a gun
That's why no American
Would throw away his—

[VEEP]
Sing!

[All}
La la la la la
La la la la la la

[VEEP, sung]
That's why no American

[Ensemble, simultaneously]
Ooooh

[All]
Would throw away his gun!

[VEEP]
BANG!