God’s Own Child

[Mary]
I really can't stay

[Angel]
But Mary it's cold outside

[Mary]
I got to go away

[Angel]
But Mary it's cold outside

[Mary]
This evening has been

[Angel]
And God's having his first kid

[Mary]
So very nice

[Angel]
He thinks your womb would be just right

[Mary]
My mother will start to worry

[Angel]
Beautiful what's your hurry

[Mary]
You know that I'm only like twelve

[Angel]
God's still pretty young himself

[Mary]
But really I better scurry

[Angel]
Plus life expectancy is like thirty

[Mary]
But he is the all-powerful lord

[Angel]
Put some records on while pour

[Mary]
The shepherds might think

[Angel]
But baby you'll birth a king

[Mary]
Say, what's in this drink?

[Angel]
Plus the whole Messiah thing

[Mary]
I wish I know how

[Angel]
Your eyes are like starlight now

[Mary]
To break this spell

[Angel]
Do what you want, see you in hell

[Mary]
I ought to bе a nice young lady

[Angel]
Mind if I plant this baby?

[Mary]
At least I'm gonna say that I tried

[Angel]
Won't harm your hymеn from the outside

[Mary]
I really can't stay

[Angel]
Oh Mary, don't hold out

[Mary]
Oh but it's God's own child

[Jinkx]
So then even though Mary was going with someone else, God coerced her into having his child as if it was some kind of honour for her to push a baby out of her lady basement before even getting to take it for a spin. God and his fraternity of angel bros just sat around watching when Mary wandered the desert. Like, God just hit it and quit it. When she was basically ready to pop, her and her main piece Joseph came upon an inn and even the innkeeper was a complete douche. Oh, I'll be playing the innkeeper now

[Innkeeper]
We've got no more room

[Mary]
But mister it's cold outside

[Innkeeper]
Say, what's with your groom?

[Mary]
That's Joseph, he's cold outside

[Innkeeper]
Gee, I wish I could help

[Mary]
I'll give you five stars on Yelp

[Innkeeper]
But I'm uninsured

[Mary]
I think my water just broke, mister

[Innkeeper]
I guess you could take the manger

[Mary]
I'm seriously in labour

[Innkeeper]
The donkeys would be pissed if you did

[Mary]
Jesus Christ, I'm having a kid

[Innkeeper]
Just lay down some towels

[Mary]
This baby is coming

[Both]
Oh but it's cold outside

[Innkeeper]
Ew