God Is a Middle-Aged Woman

God is a middle-aged woman
With planets for earrings and international date lines
At the corners of her eyes
She's thinkin' 'bout remarriage
To a guy she recently met
And hasn't even asked out on a date

Okay, to be perfectly honest
He's never even spoken to her
He barely even knows she exists
But hey, God is really shy
She doesn't like confrontations
And she's not so young anymore

But oh, God, won't you just say hello?
Oh, God, you can take it real slow

It's been hard since Jeremy left her
Sometimes it seems so pointless
Like she's unloveable
But I, I love her very much
I love the way she looks
And I just want her to be happy

I wish I could talk some sense
Into her troubled head
Full of beautiful grey hairs
But I, I am only human
But maybe that's just it
Maybe that's just what she needs

Oh, God, things are gonna be fine
Oh, God, don't lose your head over some stupid guy

Ah, so beautiful on the patio at night
Ah, so wonderful, how did I not see it before?

Oh God
Oh God
Oh God
Oh God