Goat

[Hook]
She said let's smoke some marijuana
I said oh no don’t really wanna
Cuz I be sorta scared kinda
Cuz last time I smoked
Turned into a muhfucking goat

[Verse 1]
Kids don’t smoke marijuana
'Less you wanna end staring down a
Little bottle full of milk in a petting zoo
Scream "Help!"
But they won't rescue you
Cause goats can’t fucking talk
That well, well I'm telling you
Don’t smoke that shit, don’t snort that shit
Report that shit, I’m forced to shit
Inside a boarded four by four right next to where the horses shit
It all started Friday, Lucy said "Let’s smoke some pot!"
I said "Oh no lets not, it's shabbot shalom shalom shabbot!"
She said "Why not? We’re all alone, let’s smoke it all, let’s all get stoned
Show you my bra, take off our clothes"
Sounds like a ball, can’t say it don’t (peer pressure)
So we started doing Mary Jane
She crushed up some bud and snorted, so of course I did the same
She wanted more, I didn't abstain
All aboard the aeroplane
Pulled out a needle, shot up weed and now it's coursing through my veins
Now it's forcing me to change, oh my God, I got four legs
"Lucy help! I only did this cuz you promised me foreplay!"

[Hook]

[Verse 2]
"Marc, you need some help, I’m here to get you started"
Opened my eyes and saw a strange man with a beard
"I beg your pardon but where are we?"
The man farted, stood and laughed
"I’m glad you asked, my names Laremie, I’m a wizard, and look, I have implanted calves!"
"What the fuck is going on? Why the fuck am I goat?
He chuckled and said "Calm down son, this what happens when you smoke
This what happens when you toke
We’ll look after you and hope
Your little habit can be broke
Now put this on we have to go"
"Wait a sec
Wait just a min"
Laremie paused and faked a grin
He said "It's tough to take it in
But you’re going to your cage my friend"
Then he waved his wizard wand
And chanted some li'l stupid charm
And when I woke up I was staring at the roof inside a barn
A farmer with a pitchfork poked me, said "Ooh you must be Marc"
As he cackled an evil laugh, and said "Welcome to the farm
We won’t do you any harm, long as you’re a good good goat
Now get inside your cage, where we keep the ones who smoke"

[Hook]

[Verse 3]
Life as a goat, was devasted
But one morning awoke, and Laremie was levitating
He said "You made it, you get to turn back into human, lets celebrate it
Young fella made it, but don't you go get, hella faded, or elevated
Or however the hell you say it, kids these days, dont even know"
I said "I got it, just lemme go"
He waved his wand, clicked his toes
And just like that, I'm not a goat, I'm back to human, oh God has spoke
He said "Good luck, I gotta go, and disappeared, a cloud of smoke" (poof)
So I'm reformed I hope
Got a swarm of hope
I informed my folks
But all they did is scorn and gloat
And mourn I smoked
Rather see me on the corner broke
So I'm just tryna sorta cope
Applied for jobs, but they've all told me "We don't hire former goats
Yo, so kids don't smoke marijuana
Less you wanna, end up, just like me, would you care to be
With Laremie
On a dumb ass farm
In a small ass barn
With a horse named norm
And a pig named poe
If you don't wanna end up
Being changed to a goat
Next time that they smoke
I would just say "No."