Ghosts of Christmas

I am the ghost of Christmas sass
I am all the times were acting like a jackiddy-a--
Top the holidays when you were a kid
Mm, yeah, all the stuff you wish you could forget you did
Like when you pitched a friggidy-frigiddy-friggidy friggin' fit
Cause you circled everything in the catalog you wanted to get
You didn't get a Snoopy snow cone machine
The things that you said to your mom that year were obscene

And that dinner when you wanted to play
Instead of eatin' you acted like an a-hole
And used your fork to poke at your cousin Mabеl
Until you're excused and еxpelled from the table

I'm a holiday specter, I'm a pain in the butt
If you think you learned a lesson then you're totally nuts
I'm only here to make you feel cruddy
Have a little Christmas anxiety, buddy

They are the merry Christmas (Gho-gho-gho-ghosts!)
They are scary Christmas (Gho-gho-gho-ghosts!)
They are the hairy Christmas (Gho-gho-gho-ghosts!)
They are all the little things that b-b-bother you the most

They are the merry Christmas (Gho-gho-gho-ghosts!)
They are scary Christmas (Gho-gho-gho-ghosts!)
They are the hairy Christmas (Gho-gho-gho-ghosts!)
And they are worrying the nation from coast to coast

Um, I am the ghost of Christmas presents
I am the memory of every lame gift you rezent giving
Hehehe I meant resent, anyway
You remember that time you tried to give your little sister away?
I mean, it was just to grandma, so it didn't stick
You gave dad a tie, dude, what a
No one should ever give anyone tie
Do you wanna get a tie? No? Don't give anyone a tie!

You know that that thing you gave that one friend repeatedly?
You know, cause it's your thing. Stop that immediately!
The girl you like has plenty of scented lotion
So don't get that. Have I wrestled your emotions?

I'm a holiday specter, I'm a pain in the butt
If you think you learned a lesson then you're totally nuts
I'm only here to make you feel cruddy
Have a little Christmas anxiety, buddy

They are the merry Christmas (Gho-gho-gho-ghosts!)
They are scary Christmas (Gho-gho-gho-ghosts!)
They are the hairy Christmas (Gho-gho-gho-ghosts!)
They are all the little things that b-b-bother you the most

They are the merry Christmas (Gho-gho-gho-ghosts!)
They are scary Christmas (Gho-gho-gho-ghosts!)
They are the hairy Christmas (Gho-gho-gho-ghosts!)
And they are worrying the nation from coast to coast

I am the ghost of Christmas furniture (laughs)
Your big, big booty has the right arching curvature
Destroy your auntie's antique rocker
That one Christmas in the 90s, isn't it a shocker?
That I would bring that up after all these years
That she screwed her face up holding back all the tears?
It had been passed down from generation to generation
Ruined by your butt while it was on Christmas vacation

That's all I got, I'm a thin concept for a verse
It only gets wiggidy-wiggidy-wiggidy-wiggidy worse
When you realize I'm only in this deal-y
Cause furniture sounds like future, but not really

I'm a holiday specter, I'm a pain in the butt
If you think you learned a lesson then you're totally nuts
I'm only here to make you feel cruddy
Have a little Christmas anxiety, buddy

They are the merry Christmas (Gho-gho-gho-ghosts!)
They are scary Christmas (Gho-gho-gho-ghosts!)
They are the hairy Christmas (Gho-gho-gho-ghosts!)
They are all the little things that b-b-bother you the most

They are the merry Christmas (Gho-gho-gho-ghosts!)
They are scary Christmas (Gho-gho-gho-ghosts!)
Don't you know about it
They are the hairy Christmas (Gho-gho-gho-ghosts!)
And they're worrying the nation from coast to coast