Get Off The Stool

[Verse 1]
Well, I walked into a café, feelin' mighty low
I could've eaten most anything, but I didn't have no dough
Well, a pretty little waitress stared at me and then I heard her say:
"Get off the stool, you silly fool, you can't sit there all day"

[Refrain]
And I said: "Why?"
And she said: "'Cause
This ain't no place to take a rest
And, I ain't Santa Claus"

[Verse 2]
Well, I went on to a tavern, I didn't have a cent
The bartender just looked at me, said: "Bud, you're badly bent
Now, we don't care for moocherers, and we don't furnish shade
Get off the stool, you silly fool, come back when you get paid"

[Refrain]
And I said: "Why?"
And he said: "'Cause
This ain't no place to take a rest
And, I ain't Santa Claus"

[Verse 3]
Well, I went to see my baby, just the another night
She asked me for a little kiss, filled my heart with pride
She puckered up her painted lips, I said: "Leave me alone"
She screamed: "You fool, get off that stool, you might as well go home"

[Refrain]
And I said: "Why?"
And she said: "'Cause
This ain't no place to take a rest
And, I ain't Santa Claus"

[Verse 4]
So, I married me a rich widder, she had a Jersey cow
Sent me to do the milkin', she thought that I knew how
Well, I sat right down in front of Jerz, and the widow she walked in
"Get off the stool, you silly fool, get on the other end"

[Refrain]
And I said: "Why?"
She said: "'Cause
This ain't no place to take a rest
And, I ain't Santa Claus"

[Verse 5]
Well, I was speedin' down the highway, and someone hollered: "Stop"
I kept right on a-goin', didn't know it was a cop
He sat me down before the judge, he said: "You'll change your ways
Get off the stool, you silly fool, you're here for 30 days"

[Refrain]
And I said: "Why?"
And he said: "'Cause
You found a place to take a rest
I'll be your Santa Claus
You found a place to take a rest
I'll be your Santa Claus"