Gentleman

[Verse 1]
This old middle finger
Has grown fat and tired from flicking the bird
My mouth has grown cankerous
From spitting dirty words
I feel like a strung out Snuffaluffagus
On the south side wearing Vietnamese cowboy clothes
And I found out the hard way that the pathway to her heart
Is not through her nose

[Chorus]
I'm tired of being rude, ticked-off drunk and crude
My woman can't bring me home to ma 'cause I am the dude
I'm tired of swigging this beer, need to wipe off this ugly sneer
My woman can't bring me home to pa 'cause I am too weird

[Post-Chorus]
And she wants a gentleman
Nothing more, just a gentle friend

[Verse 2]
It's getting hard to lie through my teeth
'Cause they rotted out and they're not all there
I need my old man to wash my mouth out with soap
And my mother to scrub this nasty hair
Why the fuck is a munchkin on the highway
Jumping out a trash can in Congolese cowboy clothes?
And like a deer transfixed by headlights
The bumper crushed his head while I God damn froze

[Chorus]
I'm tired of being rude, ticked-off drunk and crude
My woman can't bring me home to ma 'cause I am the dude
I'm tired of swigging this beer, need to wipe off this ugly sneer
My woman can't bring me home to pa 'cause I am too weird
I'm tired of being rude, ticked-off, drunk and crude
My woman can't bring me home to ma 'cause I am the dude
I'm tired of swigging this beer, need to wipe off this ugly sneer
My woman can't bring me home to pa 'cause I am too queer

[Refrain]
And she wants a gentleman
Nothing more, just gentle friend
Nothing less than a gentleman
Nothing more, just a gentleman
Nothing less than a gentle friend
Nothing more, just a gentleman
Nothing less than a gentleman
Than a gentleman
Than a gentleman, a gentleman
A gentleman, a gentleman

[Outro]
Yahoo
Aw, yeah, aw, yeah
C'mon, c'mon, c'mon, c'mon, yeah, yeah
Just a gentleman
Just a gentle friend
C'mon, c'mon, c'mon, c'mon, yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah
Just a gentleman
Ooh-ooh
Ooh-ooh
Yeah, yeah, woah
Just a gentle friend, just a gentle friend
Just a gentleman
C'mon, c'mon, c'mon, c'mon, c'mon, c'mon
Yeah, yeah-yeah
Ahh
Yeah-yeah, yeah-yeah
Yeah-yeah