General Purpose Birthday Song

[Verse 1]
Did you know that it's your birthday?
Well, if you didn't now you do
Because the people around you won't stop singing
"Happy birthday to you"

[Verse 2]
It must be great now that you're older
Think of all the cool things you can do
Now that your age is higher than the last year
Unless you were just born today
In which case all I will say
Is "happy birthday to you"

[Bridge]
You probably cannot drive a car unless you're old enough to drive a car in which case you can
Although the limit is a little higher, you can say the same for alcohol so don't steal my can

[Verse 3]
I guess it's time to bring the cake out
And all the different kinds of food
Here's to another year of you still breathing
Happy birthday to you

[Verse 4]
It's just too bad your Uncle Robby
Couldn't make it to the party
But he sends his regards
Knowing him, he'd probably show up drunk
And make remarks about your weight
Inside of your birthday card

[Verse 5]
And when the celebration's over
We will sit down, just me and you
And talk about the fact that you still live here
You need to clean your damn room
Learn how to handle a broom
Don't sit around like a slob
Please go apply for a job
So cut a slice of your cake
Cause till then all I will say
Is "Happy birthday to you"
Happy birthday to you

[Outro]
Okay, but get that job