Fuxking Numb

[Verse 1]
I just wanna' drink and get fucked up
I just feel so lonely inside my heart
I just wish that I could feel some love
Feel like I been stabbed with a million shards
I can't stand myself when I'm sober
Intoxicate myself so I feel alive
I just want this all to be over
I can't help that I feel so dead inside
I don't wanna' feel this fucking pain no more
I'm so tired of feeling empty deep inside my soul
Being alive just doesn't feel the same no more
Maybe it's just time to clock out and let go
I promise you I'm tryna' be the best I can
The more I try to love myself the more I hate who I've become
I honestly have no clue who the fuck I am
I wanna' drink the pain away till' I get drunk
I wanna' get fucked up and drift away
And when the sun comes up I won't awake
Let the alcohol run through my veins
I know this is my fault I'm so ashamed
I don't wanna' be here anymore
I don't know what I have been looking for
I know that I'm damaged internally
I can no longer manage this misery

[Pre-Chorus]
Close my eyes, don't wanna' wake up
Hope is dying, and I'm afraid of
Being alive
Don't wanna stay here
Just wanna' lay here
I know my grave's near
Emptiness is all that I feel
Ever since I failed to heal
My remnants will remain
I can't explain this awful pain

[Chorus]
Oh, I just feel so lonely inside my heart
Oh, feel like I been stabbed with a million shards

[Verse 2]
Yo I swear to God I'll never feel again
Praying to God to help me heal within
If I died right before I wake would you take my soul if it's filled with sins
Fill my cup up to the brim
Getting fucked up to feel again
Getting drugged up to heal within cause my faith in God has been getting slim
All this pressure has been getting to me
All these heartbreaks have been too many
If I died now would you forget me
Would you regret the fact that you let me
I been crying for so fucking long
Crying for help in every fucking song
It's more than music these are my alarms
Don't act surprised I warned you all along
How much longer will I stay on earth
How much harder do I have to search
How much stronger just to bear the hurt
What if death is what I deserve
I'm out of breath running from this curse
I'm out of breath running from this curse
There's nothing left I have zero worth
Let me rest in peace deep below the dirt, fuck

[Chorus]
Ooh, I just feel so lonely inside my heart
Ooh, feel like I been stabbed with a million shards
Ooh, intoxicate myself so I feel alive
Ooh, I can't help that I feel so dead inside