Five Foot Flirt

[Verse 1]
Now don't say Jim Johnson weren’t withee last night
I heard it as plain as could be
I was crossin' the mound when I heard a strange sound
Down by the sycamore tree
I thought p'r’aps a cow had got stuck in the mud
And pulled out her foot with a moo
But I'm satisfied now that that noise weren't a cow
It was Jim kissin' you!

[Chorus]
You my five-foot flirt in the robes of an angel
You better 'ad leave I alone
Why, the way you're actin', it nearly unnerves I
The thing that preserves I is my joviality
Though I've got troubles as thick as the stubble
’Tis you that’s the worst of 'em all
Keep out of me track, and if you want to come back
You can crawl, crawl, crawl

[Verse 2]
Remenber what happened last Saturday night?
The air was so peaceful and still
Like a bolt from the blue came a hullabaloo
A growlin’ and a cacklin' so shrill
It came to me head as I crawled from me bed
"There's a fox at me chickens, that's true"
I crept out in me socks and bumped into the fox
It was Jim kissin’ you!

[Chorus]
You my five-foot flirt in the robes of an angel
You better 'ad leave I alone
Why, the way you're actin', it nearly unnerves I
The thing that preserves I is my joviality
Though I've got troubles as thick as the stubble
'Tis you that's the worst of 'em all
Keep out of me track, and if you want to come back
You can crawl, crawl, crawl

[Verse 3]
Now what's your excuse for last Sunday in church?
It fair turned the poor vicar grey
While the organist was rendering "Lead, Kindly Light"
Jim Johnson kept pumpin' away
Then all of a sudden, the organ stopped short
The vicar got into a stew
When he went round behind, tell me, what did he find?
He found Jim kissin' you!

[Chorus]
You my five-foot flirt in the robes of an angel
You better 'ad leave I alone
Why, the way you're actin', it nearly unnerves I
The thing that preserves I is my joviality
Though I've got troubles as thick as the stubble
'Tis you that's the worst of 'em all
Keep out of me track, and if you want to come back
You can crawl, crawl, crawl
You can crawl, crawl, crawl!