Final Fantasy VII: Script - Part 4

Scene 16: Miss Cloud?
Scene 17: Rescue Tifa From Don Of The Slums
Scene 18: Lounge Chaos
Scene 19: Ecchi Don
Scene 20: I'll Smash Them

Scene 16
-Miss Cloud? -

(Cloud and Aerith arrive in Wall Market, busy with the hustle and
bustle of people. Aerith runs around, checking things out.)

[Aerith]
"This place is scary in a lot of ways. Especially for a girl. So
we've got to find Tifa fast."

[[[People in Wall Market]]]

"I just can't make up my mind. Mmm."
"Huh? About what?"
"Hmmm, don't make me say it. It's the shop down on the right."

"Hey, you two. Why don't you get some rest?"
"We have a beautiful room, how 'bout it?"

"Aren't cats great? This one's a little big, huh?"

"Hey boy! You shore got a good lookin' heifer there!"
"Take her to Don's place, and you'll make a mint."

"Whoa!"
"Why don't you say something, if you're standing there?"
(Sells items)

"Please come in. Here's a free 'Pharmacy Coupon' if you enter
now."

(People in the Cafe)
"Welcome! Sit wherever you like!"
"I'm gonna get another Pharmacy Coupon today."
"umf... scarf... glub..."
"I always get the Special."
"It's thanks to the Don that we can eat like this."
"umf... grunt... smack... Don't sneak up on me like that!"

"It's a little early to start eating. Come back in a bit."

"...We're closed now."

"Oh... what should I do... Should I just buy it......?"

"Welcome. Please take your time."

"Don't push! Hooligan!"

"All this trash. Can't we do anything with it?"
"All this, belongs to the owner of the Weapons Shop. He keeps
picking things up and saving them here."
"Oh, you mean the owner who even has a tank in his shop."
"But no matter how you look at it, it's just trash..."

"Join the club."
"Try it with us."

"All right... 1, 2, 3. Squats are all in the rhythm."
"I'm doing my best, bro'!"
"How's... this!?"

"Whew, times are bad."

"...And then..."
"Hmm, hmmm, oh really?"

"Yes? If you want to order, do it at the counter." [Note: You
don't seem to be able to order]

"Hey, could you do somethin' for me? Someone's been in there
all day and they're not comin' out. I can't hold it anymore!"

"HEY... someone's IN here... Don't look!"

"You want somethin'? I don't wanna hear any complaints 'bout
how things look."

[[[People outside the Honey Bee Inn]]]

[Johnny]
"Man... Should I go.... or not?"
"I get so mental at times like this. I'm hopeless!"
"Hey!! Aren't you...?"
"What!! You mean, you're.... too?"

***Cloud
Yeah, me too.

[Johnny]
"You're Tifa's childhood friend, and you brought a girlfriend
to a place like this!?"
"What kind of guy are you!!"

"What the hell!! You *%^&!! This ain't no #$*&^% show!! I'm busy
right now!!"
"I'm feelin' like there's gonna be a fight!"

"Urrgh... no way... I can't go on."
"Things aren't working out."
"Between our differences and my pay, it just isn't cutting it."

"Welcome!! Even unpopular dweebs, like you may meet your
destiny here!!"
"You looking for a girlfriend too?"

***Cloud
You know a girl named Tifa?

"Hey, you're pretty fast. Tifa's our newest girl."
"But, unfortunately, she's having an interview right now."
"Here at the Honey Bee Inn, it's customary for all the new girls
to be taken to Don Corneo's mansion."
"Don Corneo's a famous dilettante. Now he wants to settle down
and is in the market for a bride."

"The Honey Bee Inn is a private club. Only members can go in.
Shoo, shoo."

(Cloud and Aerith meet the doorman outside of Don Corneo's mansion.)

[Note: The whole scene of getting into Don Corneo's mansion is very
open-ended. Your results may vary. I have included all the dialogue you
could encounter while getting the various items, as well as what happens
when you reach the Don's mansion with different amounts of the items.
Remember that it is NOT required to get all of the items, and no matter
how feminine you get, it will not have any bearing on the progression of
events through the game.]

"This is the mansion of Don Corneo, the most powerful man in
Wall Market."
"Look, the Don's not into men. So don't let me catch you around
here again..."
"Hey, and you got another cute one with you!"

(Aerith pulls Cloud aside.)

[Aerith]
"Hey, this looks like the Don's mansion. I'll go take a look."
"I'll tell Tifa about you."

[Cloud]
"No!! You can't!!"

[Aerith]
"Why?"

[Cloud]
"You DO know... what kind of... place this is, don't you?"

[Aerith]
"Then, what am I supposed to do? You want to go in with me?"

[Cloud]
"Well being a man, that'll be pretty hard. Besides if I bust in
there, it'll cause too much commotion."

(Aerith is giggling.)

[Cloud]
"But, I just can't let you go in alone... Oh, man......"
"First, we'll need to find out if Tifa's alright...."
"What's so funny, Aerith?"

[Aerith]
"Cloud, why don't you dress up like a girl? It's the only way."

[Cloud]
"WHAT!?"

(Aerith speaks to the doorman.)

Aerith]
"Just wait. I've got a cute friend I want to bring."

Cloud]
"Aerith! I can't....."

Aerith]
"You ARE worried about Tifa, aren't you? Then come on, hurry!"

[Sequence of events follows, in which Cloud gets various feminine items.]

(They go to the dress shop and speak to the clerk.)

Aerith]
"Excuse me! I'd like to get a dress."

"Umm, it might take a little time. Will that be all right?"

[Aerith]
"What's the problem?"

"Well, my father, the owner, has been in a slump lately. You
see, he makes all the dresses."

[Aerith]
"And, where is your father?"

"He's probably plastered at the bar."

[Aerith]
"So... You're saying we can't get a dress unless we do something
about your father?"

"Yes. I'm sorry. He's caused so much trouble."
"!"
"You'd help me bring him back?"

[Aerith]
"Well, if don't do something, we don't get a dress, right?"

"Really!? Please help my crazy old dad. I just don't know what
to do anymore...."

[Aerith]
"All right, we'll do something. Let's go, Cloud!"

(They head to the bar and speak to a man seated at the bar.)

[Aerith]
"Excuse us, are you the father of the girl at the Clothing Store?"

[Tailor]
"I own the Clothes Shop... but I ain't your father."

[Aerith]
"I didn't say that...."

[Cloud]
"Make me some clothes."

[Tailor]
"I don't make men's clothes. And I don't feel like makin'
anything right now."

[Aerith]
"Cloud, you wait over there for a second. I'll try and talk to
him."
"Why don't you go over there and have something to drink."

(He does so.)

[Aerith]
"You know, mister."
"He always said that just once, he'd like to dress up as a girl."
"So, that's why I wanted a cute dress for him..."

[Tailor]
"What!? A tough lookin guy like that?"

[Aerith]
"So, how 'bout it? Will you make him one?"

[Tailor]
"...might be interesting. I was gettin' a little bored just
makin' regular clothes."

[Aerith]
"Then you'll do it for us?"

"Yeah, all right. What kind of dress you want?"

[Aerith]
"Something..."

(You get to choose what kind of dress you get here. If you make these
choices, you will get the Silk Dress, the sexiest dress. Any other
combination will get you a non-sexy dress.)

That feels soft

[Aerith]
"And something...."

that shimmers

"Hmm, got it. Y'know I got a friend that has the same taste
as him. I'll go talk to him."

(They return to the Dress Shop and speak to the owner.)

"Oh, you're here. It's ready. Go try it on."

(They receive the Silk Dress. Cloud looks like he is dreading this. He
steps into the dressing booth and we hear scuffling sounds.)

[Cloud]
"How... do you put this thing on?"

(Aerith looks inside.)

[Cloud]
"Whoa! What are you doing!"

[Aerith]
"It's still not right. A wig! That's what you need!"

(She speaks to the owner.)

"Umm, I thought you might, so I talked to my friend about
getting one."
"You know the gym? You'll find a lot of people there like you.
Go and talk to them."

(Cloud comes out of the dressing booth, in his normal clothes.)

[Cloud ]
"...'like you'? Aerith, what did you tell him?"

[Aerith]
"Does it matter? Anyhow, we got a pretty dress!"

(They travel to the gym and speak to the man watching the squat-thrust
match. We can only assume it is a man; he appears to be wearing women's
clothes.)

"You the one.... Who wants to be cute?"

[Cloud]
"Cute?"

[Aerith]
"Right."
"And about the wig..."

"Yeah, I heard. But it'll cost ya."

(A guy stops working out and comes over.)

"Urrrrgh!!!"
"Big Bro!! The only way you're gonna get cuter is if you can
beat the Big Bro!!"

(The people doing squat thrusts jump out of the ring.)

"That's right!"
"So, you've got to compete with us!"

"You're right. Let's do squats."

"All right! We'll beat you out of this gym!"

[Cloud]
"Are you...?"

[Aerith]
"THE beautiful Bro?"

(The "Beautful" Bro speaks.)

"What? You didn't know? Always running around here saying
Big Bro' this, Big Bro' that...."
"Never mind that, come over here."

(The squat thruster steps forward.)

"No. I'll explain the rules."
"From the ready position, push Square button to squat, push X
Button to get up, and push O Button to go back to the ready position."
"So it's Square Button, X Button, O Button in that order."
"Got it?"

***Cloud
Got it

"Whoever has the most squats at the end of 30 seconds gets the
wig."
"I'm not going to lose."
"Big Bro's wig is MINE!!"
"Just be quiet..."
"It's not fair for you to start right away. So, you want
practice?"

***Cloud
A little

"Then, start practicing!"

(Cloud does squats for 30 seconds.)

"You had 20 squats."
"Now let's begin the real thing. Start!"

(Cloud and Work-Out Boy do squats for 30 seconds.)

"He had 17 squats and you had 20 squats."

[Your results may vary]

"You're really something. Okay, I'm a man of my word, here
you are."

(He gives Cloud the Blonde Wig- the sexiest wig.)

[Big Bro]
'I'm so mad I'm so so so--- mad!"

(Beautiful Bro punches him across the room.)

"Shut up! Don't cry just because you lost!"

"Uuuhh, Bro's fists of steel cut to the bone!"

(Everyone administers first aid to Big Bro.)

[These are the only two events you need to do. The rest are optional.]

(Cloud and Aerith go to the Materia shop and speak to the owner.)

"Hey man. Got a minute? I need to talk... man to man."

***Cloud
What is it

"Really! I really appreciate it."
"......I'm sorry but, young lady? Would you turn the other way,
for a second?"

[Aerith]
"Why.....?"

[Cloud]
"......Aerith."

[Aerith]
"Gosh!"

(She turns.)

"I'm sorry, lady."
"Now here's the thing. Do you know that vending machine in the
inn?"
"I'm itchin' to know what they're selling in it. I just can't
ask a girl to go get it."
"What? Why don't I buy it myself? Well to tell you the truth,
I got in a fight with the guy at the inn and can't go there anymore.
Come on, so how 'bout it?"

***Cloud
I'll go

"Good, thanks. I'll be waitin' here when you're done."

[Aerith]
"Finished?"

(They go to the inn and get a room there. Late that night, Cloud gets out
of bed and goes to the vending machine in the hallway.)

[Cloud]
"He means this?"

CHOICE
Don't buy it
Buy the one for 200 Gil (-)
Buy the one for 100 Gil
Buy the one for 50 Gil

(He drops in the money. The next morning they go back to the Materia shop)

(Cloud)
"I got it."

"Oh, really!! Hey!"

(Aerith)
"Geez."

(She turns.)

"And, what was it?"

(Cloud hands it to him.)

"A protein drink set. That jerk. I'm gonna do so much more
business than him, his head'll spin."

"Thanks, bud. I'm motivated now. Take this, it's not much..."

(He gives Cloud a Diamond Tiara.)

[Buying a cheaper ??? at the Inn will result in a non-sexy Tiara]

(Cloud and Aerith go to the Honeybee Inn. A guy on the path there
gives them a members Card. They speak to the bouncer.)

"Hey! Is that a 'Member's Card' I see shining in your hot
little hand?"
"Please, come in."

(Aerith waits outside. All the men around the Inn grovel to her...)

[Cloud]
"...Hmm. That's how you'll fool them."

[Aerith]
"......Hmmmmmmmmm. So that's how you fooled them."

[Cloud]
"Let's go!!"

(He goes inside. A girl comes up to him.)

"Poo, I uh, mean, Sir..."
"Hurry..."
"Please choose a room. (Gosh, he's so weird... but then again,
they all are.)"

(Cloud ducks into the dressing room for the Honeybees and speaks to them.
Repeatedly.)

"Hmm, hmm, hmm....."
"Ohhh, I just can't seem to lose weight. Hmm, hmm, hmm..."
"Sir!! You can't come in here."
"(Yuk..... a pervert...)"

"Eyaah!"
"Don't!"

"Paste, paste, paste....."
"(Oh God... here's another one of those guys. You know, the
delicate type. Just ignore him, just ignore him.)"
"Fluff, fluff, fluff..."
"(Hmm! I guess he doesn't realize his position. I feel sorry for
him. Just ignore him, just ignore him.)"
"Pita, pita, pita...."
"(God, what a pest! All right, get out of here! You dog...)"
"(That's it, I'll name him 'pooch'.)"
"Mix, mix, mix...."
"(What should I do... Is he following me? Really? What if he
follows me home...?)"
"(Poochy'll do it, I'm sure of it...)"
"Shake, shake, shake..."
"(You think he's after me? Really? This guy makes me sick... And
his eyes are weird too....)"
"(Yeah, don't hurt these guys' feelings. Let's at least say 'hi'
to him."
"Uhh.... Hel... Hello."
"What a nice day, today."

***Cloud
Introduce yourself

Cloud
"By the way, I haven't introduced myself yet."
"I'm Cloud, a jack of all trades."

"Oh, yeah...? Welcome, Cloud."
"(Gross! Don't get carried away, remember your name is 'Pooch!')"
"Take care... Cloud."

***Cloud
Not interested

"NO WAY! I'M SO SHOCKED!!"

"Hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm......... hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm... hmm, hmm, hmm,
hmm..."
"Phew... ...it's so tiring."
"Oh!!"
"Is something the matter?"

***Cloud
Not yet.....

"OH......!!"

(She stabs him with her stinger.)

(Cloud exits the dressing room. He takes a peek through the keyholes of
some occupied doors. Behind the first one, The Lovers Room....)

[Cloud]
"....Woooo...ow!"

(He sees a Grandpa and Grandma....)

"...wheez...."
"Phew...."

"What's wrong, Grandpa? You keep sighing."

"...wheez... puff... You know, Grandma..."

"You talking about this room?"

"...whew... I know our son rented this for us and all, but...."
"It's too nice for us. Big round bed, gorgeous tub, I just can't
get comfortable."

"Don't worry about it. It's a high class neighborhood, in the Big
City."
"You keep complainin' and we'll get into trouble."

"...wheez..."

(Behind the other door, The Queen's Room...)

[Cloud]
"...Wooo...ow!"

(Lightning flashes... a guy in a tub... another standing... one is dressed
as a king.)

...The wind's calm now....
It's the curse of the resurrected Satan... Our beloved Queen does
not awaken...
The time is ripe...
A legend has been passed on through generations...

"Psst... (Hey, shouldn't we stop him soon?)"

"...whisper... whisper... (We have a luncheon with President
Shinra...)"

"Psst..... (You tell him.....)"

"Psst.... (I can't tell him........)"

"Psst.... (Come on!! Oh, well....)"

A legend has been passed on through generations....
.....the sought after Promised Land....

"Psst.... (I'm so disgusted with the President.)"

....One with Blue Eyes....

"Psst....(It's like this every time we have a business trip to
Midgar.)"

.....and a Great White Sword on his back.....

"(We come all the way to Midgar, just for this....)"

.... Will not lead to the Promised Land.....

"Psst.... (What're you complaining about. You're just holding the
lights. I've gotta wear this heavy armor!)"

"Psst.... (I know, I know... but it's all part of the job.)"
"Psst.... (Oh yeah, did you hear? The President's wife found out
about this little hobby of his.)"

"Psst... (Ha, ha.... No way, that's the first I've heard of it.)"

"Psst... (Oh, looks like he's done. Man, I'm glad!!)"

"Geez!! Mr. Prseident!! I mean, Your Majesty..."

(Smacking sounds.)

"Ohhh... I'm sorry. Please remove the ancient curse!"

(Cloud stops peeking and chooses a room.)

(If you choose The Group Room...)

[Cloud]
"I'll take this room."

"All right, Now all we have to do is enter the room."
"You're not going to have a change of heart, are you?"

***Cloud
Don't make me repeat myself

"Oh, don't be angry with me.... (Geez.... this one' probably the
violent type....)"
"All right, please."

(Cloud enters. The Honeybee closes and locks the door behind them.)

"This way, please."
"Shall we begin?"
"I guess since you chose this room, that would mean you..."
"Hate being lonely?"

***Cloud
I'm used to being alone

Cloud
"I'm always alone."

"All right, all right. (...geez, you're so moody!)"
"Come on, everyone's waiting."

***Cloud
Everyone...?

(There is knocking on the door.)

"Here they are."
"All right, everyone."
"One, two! One, two!"

(Seven or eight men clad in Spandex stampede in....)

"Yeah!!"

"One, two!! One, two!!"

[Muuki]
"Wassup!!"
"(Smile, smile, smile...)"

[Cloud]
"Oh man..."
"What should I do...?"

***Cloud
I'm outta here

[Cloud]
"I've got no time to mess around with you."
"Outta my way!"

[Mukki]
"...heave... pant..."
"Don't be so embarrassed! Loosen up, bubby!"
"...heave... pant..."
"Let's wash off all our sweat and dirt together!"

"Wassup!!"

(They all move in towards Cloud. The camera pans up to the ceiling so that
just the tops of their heads are showing.)

[Mukki]
"Bubby! You're the intimate type, huh!!"

(Sounds of clothes being removed...)

[Mukki]
"...heave... pant... Wow!! Would ya look at that!"

(They all climb into the tub.)

[Mukki]
"Isn't bathing great...?"
"It soothes your heart."
"How is it, bubby!?"
"Feels good, huh?"

***Cloud
.........

[Cloud]
"I don't feel good. Let me out..."

[Mukki]
"You'll get used to it. Try counting to ten."

[Cloud]
"Ten..."
"Nine..."

[Mukki]
"Hey bubby, how old are you?"

[Cloud]
"Eight..."
"Twenty one..."

[Mukki]
"You're less than half my age. I'm so jealous."
"So how 'bout it...?"
"Do you wanna join my "Young bubby's" group?"

***Cloud
Not interested

[Cloud]
"Seven..."
"Six..."
"Maybe in another life."

[Mukki]
"Well, if that's how you feel... too bad."
"We have a trip planned at a cabin out in the country."

[Cloud]
"Five..."
"Four..."
"Three...."
"Two..."
"One..."
"Alright, that's ten. I'm gettin' out."

[Mukki]
"Why don't you stick around and play a bit?"
"Daddy's so lonely..."

(They all pile out.)

[Mukki]
"Bubby!!" This is important to
me."
"Here's a memento of our time
together!"

(He gives you the Bikini Briefs.)

[Mukki]
"Hope we meet again!"

(They all run out of the room.)

[Cloud]
"This is SOME underwear.... I'm supposed to wear this...?"
"Well, if it's to save Tifa... I guess there's no way around."

(He leaves the room.)

(If you choose The &$#% Room...)

[Cloud]
"I'll take this room."

"All right, Now all we have to do is enter the room."
"You're not going to have a change of heart, are you?"

***Cloud
Don't make me repeat myself

"Oh, don't be angry with me.... (Geez.... this one' probably the
violent type....)"
"All right, please."

(Cloud enters. There is a bright flash of light and the room dims. Cloud
walks forward and sees a ghost of himself, transparent, kneeling by the
tub. The ghost rises and walks to him.)

[Cloud]
"Hmm.....? You.....?"
"What are you doing in a place like this?"

(Cloud clutches his head as if in great pain.)

"That's what I want to ask you. Should you be foolin' around
here?"
"You think problems will go away just thinkin' about them?"

(The ghost rises, lifts his sword above his head... and falls forward, into
Cloud's body. He falls and the screen goes black)

"Oh no!"
"Help! Someone...! Hurry!"

"You can't change anything by just sitting back and looking at it."

[Cloud]
"What are you saying?"

"It's started moving."

[Cloud]
"What has?"

"Wake up!"

(Time passes....)

"rub, rub, rub..... rub, rub, rub, rub...."
"thump... pound.... thump... pound..."
"poik... poik... ...squish."

[Cloud]
"Uh... OW..!!"

"Wake up!!"

(Slapping noises.)

"Wake up!!"

(Screen fades in to show Mukki straddling Cloud and slapping him upside
the head. Cloud sits up and Mukki flops down on the bed.)

"Phew, I'm so relieved."

[Mukki]
"Bubby!! I heard you collapsed."
"No, no, no."
"Don't get so uptight."

***Cloud
Huh...?

[Mukki]
"Hmm...? They say youth is so long but so short."
"Let's give this next one your best shot."

(He gets off the bed.)

[Mukki]
"Time's up. Bye, buddy."

(Mukki goes to leave. Cloud catches him.)

[Mukki]
"Don't get depressed over a thing like this."
"It happens to me all the time."

(Cloud speaks to the honeybee.)

"I'm so sorry... There's a lot of 'adult' things going on..."
"For your inconvenience, please take this, okay?"

(She gives Cloud the Lingerie.)

[Cloud]
"What, this rag? For me!? I just don't get it."

(He leaves the room.)

(He goes into the Honeybee dressing room again and speaks to a Honeybee.)

".........."

[Cloud ]
"If I were to dress up like a woman... Then I've got to really
prepare carefully."
"Seems like I could put makeup on here."

***Cloud
Have them put makeup on
"I have a favor to ask of you. Can you put makeup on me too?"

"...paste, paste, paste....."
"Oh... my....."

(He leaves the Honeybee Inn. The bouncer sees him)

"Uh, sir!! It's almost closing time..."
"So, please remember any personal belongings."

(The people outside the Inn are ogling Aerith.)

"Uuuuuh! I want flowers too! But, I get so nervous in front of
cute girls..."
"It just seems more natural to get cautious..."

[Aerith]
"Hey!! Cloud!!"

(They scatter and Aerith rejoins. They go to the cafe and sit down.)

"Yes, what will you have?"

[Cloud]
"Hmm..."

***Cloud
Today's Special

"One Today's Special."

"Comin' up!"

"In this store, you pay first. It'll be 70 Gil."

(He pays.)

"Thank you. Just a second."

(He gives him a plate.)

"There you go. Enjoy."

(He eats.)

***Cloud
"It was all right"

"Thank you. Here's an item coupon for the Pharmacy."
"You can exchange it for one item there."
"We're out of coupons, so we stopped giving them away. Watch for
our NEXT promotion!"

(He gives you the Coupon. They go to the Pharmacy and speak to the clerk.)

"Whoa!"
"Why don't you say something, if you're standing there?"
"Oh, you have a coupon. Then please select any one medicine you
like."

"Here you are."

(He gives him the Digestive. They go to the bar and speak to the guy in
the bathroom.)

"HEY... someone's IN here... Don't look!"
"What... urk..."

***Cloud
Give her medicine

"Huh? You'll really give me some? Thanks."
"Phew, I feel better now. This is for your kindness."

(She gives you the Sexy Cologne.)

[If you did not choose the Digestive, you would get a non-sexy cologne.]

(They go to the Dress Shop.)

[Aerith]
"Aren't you going to change?"

***Cloud
Okay... I'm ready

(He steps into the dressing booth and gets dressed.)

"Hmm, not bad. This may be a new business for me."

"Yeah, you're right. Should we try it?"
"Thanks for showing us something new. My father's got his
motivation back now. So the dress is on the house."

[Aerith]
"Walk more nicely like... this. Miss Cloud."

[Cloud ]
"What do you mean 'nicely'?"

(He does a runway walk.)

[Aerith]
"Oh you're so cute, Miss Cloud."
"Aaah, I want one. Do you have one that'll look good on me too?"

"How's this?"

"How about that one?"

"Father, what are you talking about? This one's much better."

"No, what are you saying? This one."

(Aerith picks a dress.)

[Aerith]
"...I want THIS one."

(Everyone is surprised.)

[Aerith]
"I'm going to go change."

(She goes to the dressing booth, then stops and turns around.)

[Aerith]
"......No peeking!"

(She changes into quite a provocative red dress.)

[Aerith]
"So? How do I look?"

(Cloud shakes his head)

[Aerith]
"Oh, you're no fun!"

Scene 17
- Rescue Tifa From Don Of The Slums -

(They go to the Don's mansion and speak to the doorman.)

"Damn!! Your friend's hot, too!"
"Come in, come in!!"
"Two ladies coming through!"

(They enter the mansion. A receptionist speaks to them.)

"Hey, ladies."
"I'll go and let the Don know you're here. Wait here. Don't go
wandering around..."

[Aerith]
"Now's our chance. Let's find Tifa."

(Cloud goes upstairs and through a door. He comes out in a torture chamber.
Aerith follows. They see Tifa there, dressed like... .. a slut, to be blunt
about it.)

[Aerith]
"...Tifa?"
"Nice to meet you. I'm Aerith."
"Cloud's told me a lot about you."

[Tifa]
"...And you are?"
"Hey you're the one with Cloud in
the park..."

[Aerith]
"Right, with Cloud."

[Tifa]
"Oh....."

[Aerith]
"Don't worry. We just met. It's nothing."

[Tifa]
"What do you mean, 'Don't worry'... about what?"
"No, don't misunderstand."
"Cloud and I grew up together. Nothing more."

[Aerith]
"Poor Cloud, having to stand here and listen to both of us call
him nothing."

(She turns to Cloud.)

[Aerith]
"Right, Cloud?"

[Tifa]
"Cloud?"

(She checks him out.)

[Tifa]
"????"
"Cloud!?"
"Why are you dressed like that!? And what are you doing here!?"
"Forget that, what happened to you after the fall!? Are you
hurt!?"

[Cloud]
"Hey, give me a chance to explain."
"I'm dressed like this... because there was no other way to get
in here."
"I'm all right. Aerith helped me out."

[Tifa]
"Oh, Aerith did..."

[Cloud]
"Tifa, explain. What are you doing in a place like this?"

[Tifa]
"Yeah, ummmm...."

[Aerith]
"Ahem! I'll just plug my ears."

(She walks to the other side of the room and does so.)

[Tifa]
"I'm glad you're OK."

[Cloud]
"Thanks. What happened?"

[Tifa]
"When we got back from the Number 5 reactor, there was this weird
man."
"So Barret caught him and squeezed some information out of him."

[Cloud]
"That's when the Don's name popped up."

[Tifa]
"Right, Don Corneo."
"Barret told me to leave the lech alone..."
"But something's been bothering me."

[Cloud]
"I see. So you wanted to get the story straight from Corneo's
mouth."

[Tifa]
"So I made it here, but now I'm in a bind."
"Corneo is looking for a bride."
"Everyday, he gets three girls, chooses one of them, and then....
...and, well....."
"Anyway, I have to be the girl... or I'm out for tonight."

(Aerith turns.)

[Aerith]
"Sorry... but I overheard..."
"If you know the three girls, there's no problem, right?"

[Tifa]
"I guess so, but..."

[Aerith]
"We have two here, right?"

[Cloud]
"No, Aerith! I can't have you get involved."

[Aerith]
"Oh? So it's all right for Tifa to be in danger?"

[Cloud]
"No, I don't want Tifa in...."

(Tifa walks to Aerith.)

[Tifa]
"Is it all right?"

(They start to walk out of the room together.)

[Aerith]
"I grew up in the slums... I'm used to danger."

(She turns to Tifa.)

[Aerith]
"Do you trust me?"

[Tifa]
"Yes. Thanks, Ms. Aerith."

[Aerith]
"Call me Aerith."

(A voice from upstairs.)

"He---y!!"

(The receptionist is at the top of the stairs.)

"It's time, ladies. The Don is waiting!"

(He goes back upstairs.)

"I told ya not to wander around... I tell ya, women nowadays..."
"Hurry up, will ya!"

[Cloud]
"I probably don't need to ask but the other girl is..."
"Me...... right?"

[Tifa]
You're right, there was no need..."

(She faces Aerith.)

[Aerith]
"...to ask."

(They all go upstairs to the Don's room.....)

(Cloud, Aerith, and Tifa enter the Don's room. He is seated at a desk,
with a flunky on either side.)

[Kotch]
"All right, ladies!"
"Line up in front of the Don!"

(They line up in a row.)

[Don Corneo]
"Hmmm! Good, splendid!"

(He jumps over his desk and checks out
Aerith.)

Don Corneo
"Now, let's see... Which girl
should I choose? Hmm--- hmm---!"

(He checks out Cloud, who tries to face
away.)

Don Corneo
"This one?"

(He checks out Tifa.)

Don Corneo
"Or this one?"

(He checks out Cloud again.)

Don Corneo
"Woo-hoo, I've made up my mind!!"
"My choice for tonight is....."

(Drum rollllllllll....)

[If you don't have many feminine items]

(Don Corneo picks Tifa.)

[Don Corneo]
"This little beauty!"

[Tifa]
"Fu, fu, fu.... Be nice, Don."

[If you have a fair amount of feminine items]

(Don Corneo picks Aerith.)

[Don Corneo]
"This slender little girl!"

(Aerith nods.)

[Aerith]
"Don, you've got great taste."

[If you have ALL the feminine items...]

(Don Corneo picks Cloud...)

[Don Corneo]
"This healthy-looking girl!"

[Cloud]
"Wa, wait a sec! I mean, uh, please wait a moment!"

[Don Corneo]
"Woo-hoo!"
"I love chickies who play hard to get! Yeowza!"

(Don turns to his flunkies.)

[Don Corneo]
"You can have the other ones!"

"Yes, sir! Thank you sir!"

(He turns to the girl he chose.)

[Don Corneo]
"Well then, shall we go my pretty?"

(He leads the girl he chose into the bedroom...)

Scene 18
- Lounge Chaos -

[If Cloud was picked - go to the next scene]

[If Cloud was not picked]

(One of Don's flunkies leads Cloud into the employee lounge.)

[Scotch]
"Hey guys! We've got guests."
"We'll take REAL good care of you."
"This is all thanks to the big boss, Don Corneo!"

"Heey!! Three cheers for Don Corneo!"

[Scotch]
"Heh, heh.... Well ladies, are we, uh, all ready?"

(They all start chasing Cloud, who goes up to Scotch.)

[Scotch]
"Hey... what's wrong? Want me to keep you company?"

[Cloud]
"No... I'm flattered, but no thanks."
"Because..."

[Scotch]
"Because...?"

[Cloud]
"Because..."
"I ain't INTERESTED in a buncha scrubs like you!"

(He flings off his woman's clothes.)

[Scotch]
"Wha.... a MAN!???"
"God damn it! You think you can get away with this! Get him!
Knock the crap out of him!!"

(Battle sequence.)

[Scotch]
"Grr! C'mon, what's the matter with you good for nothings!?"
"All right now, COME ON! I'll show you how it's done!!"

(Another battle sequence. Cloud wins and leaves.)

[If Aerith was picked]

(Tifa meets him outside the door.)

[Tifa]
"Cloud!!"

[Cloud]
"Tifa!!"

***Cloud
You all right?

[Tifa]
"Of course! If you take me lightly, you're gonna pay for it!!"

(They run to the bedroom.)

[If Tifa was picked]

(Cloud is about to go in to the Don's room when Aerith screams from the
torture chamber.)

[Aerith]
"No--!! Help!!"

(Cloud rushes down the stairs.)

[Aerith]
"No-!!"

[Kotch]
"Ha ha ha... Wait, you!"

(Cloud looks down. Kotch is comically chasing Aerith around in circles.
Aerith runs up the stairs and Kotch follows. When Aerith reaches Cloud,
she kicks Kotch in the crotch.)

[Aerith]
"I'm so sorry!"

(Kotch loses his balance and flails his arms...)

[Kotch]
"oh, oh, oh...."

(He falls down the stairs.)

[Kotch]
"heh, heh, heh..."

[Cloud]
"Aerith!!"

***Cloud
You all right?

[Aerith]
"I told you. I'm used to danger."
"To tell you the truth, my heart was pounding."

(They run up the stairs to the Don's room...)

Scene 19
- Ecchi Don -

(Don Corneo and the girl he chose are sitting in his extravagantly and
tastelessly decorated bedroom. It smacks of 'Love Hotel'.)

[If Tifa was picked]

[Don Corneo]
"Woo-hoo!"
"Come, come, don't be so shy..."

[Tifa]
"I know...."
"But you know, Don Corneo, I'd like you to explain something
before we start..."

[Don Corneo]
"Hm? Oh, you mean about THAT?"
"Don't worry. I'm single. There, feel better now?"

(He gets up and, um, wiggles his hips...)

[Tifa]
"No... I'm not asking about that......"
"Wa... wait a minute! No, not yet!!"

(He, uhm, wiggles again...)

[Don Corneo]
"Come! Come!"
"Aooooooh!! I can't wait any longer! Here comes papa!!"

(Cloud and Aerith break in.)

[Tifa ]
"Cloud!!"

(Don does a belly flop at Tifa. She hops out of the way, and Don comes
down face first.)

[Don Corneo]
"Wha... what the hell? Who goes there?"

[Tifa]
"You still don't get it do you, Don Corneo?"

(She takes off her dress. No, she's got her normal clothes on under it.)

[Don Corneo]
"Get what?"

[If Aerith was picked]

[Don Corneo]
"Woo-hoo!"
"Come, come, don't be so shy..."

[Aerith]
"Ye... yes..."
"But Mr. Don. I'd like you to explain something to me first..."

[Don Corneo]
"Of course, my dear. I'll take you through it slowly, step by
step. So come on!"

(He gets up and, uh, wiggles his hips...)

[Aerith]
"No, that's not what I meant!"
"NO, STOP! Just, wait a second!!"

(He does it again...)

[Don Corneo]
"Come! Come!"
"Aoooooh!! I can't wait any longer! Here comes papa!!"

(Cloud and Tifa break in.)

[Aerith]
"Cloud!!"

(Don does a belly flop at Aerith. She hops out of the way, and Don comes
down face first.)

[Don Corneo]
"Wha... what the hell? Who goes there!?"

[Aerith]
"I'm sorry, Don."

(She takes off her dress. No, she's got her normal clothes on under it.)

[Don Corneo]
"Get what?"

[If Cloud was picked]

[Don Corneo]
"Ahh, we're finally alone..."
"All right, pussycat... Come to daddy!"

(Cloud reluctantly comes to the bed...)

[Don Corneo]
"You're so cute, I never get tired of looking at you."
"Do you like me, too?"

***Cloud
Of course!

[Don Corneo]
"You sure do know how to make a guy feel good!"
"Then wh... what do you want to DO?"

***Cloud
Whatever YOU want, daddy

[Don Corneo]
"Oh man! I can't stand it! All right, then...."

(He hops forward on the bed like a frog...)

[Don Corneo]
"Give me a kiss! A KISS!!"

***Cloud
All right......

(Cloud moves to kiss him.... pulls back... moves forward again......!)

"Ju---st a minute!!"

(Tifa and Aerith break in.)

[Tifa]
"Cloud..."
"Were you really..."

(Cloud shakes his head quickly and flings off his woman's clothes.)

[Don Corneo]
"A man!? What's goin' on?"

***Cloud
Nope, can't do that....

Scene 20
- I'll Smash Them -

(Cloud, Tifa, and Aerith are in Don Corneo's bedroom)

[Tifa]
"Shut up, we're asking the questions now..."
"What did your assistants find out? Talk! If you don't tell
us..."

(Cloud puts a foot up on the bed.)

[Cloud]
"...I'll chop them off."

(Don jumps.)

[Don Corneo]
"No! Not that! I'll talk! I'll tell you everything!"

[Tifa]
"So... talk."

[Don Corneo]
"...I made 'em find out where the man with the gun-arm was. But
that's what I was ordered to do."

[Tifa]
"By who?"

[Don Corneo]
"No--! If I told you that, I'd be killed!"

[Tifa]
"Talk! If you don't tell us..."

(Aerith puts her foot up on the bed.)

[Aerith]
"...I'll rip them off."

[Don Corneo]
"Waaaaah--! It was Heidegger of Shinra!"
"Heidegger, the head of Public Safety Maintenance!"

[Cloud]
"The head of Public Safety Maintenance?"

[Tifa]
"Did you say the Shinra!? What are they up to!? Talk!"
"If you don't tell us..."

(Tifa puts her foot up on the bed.)

[Tifa]
"I'll smash them."

[Don Corneo]
"...You're serious, aren't you.... ...ohboy, ohboy, ohboy."
"... I'm not fooling around here either, you know."
"Shinra's trying to crush a small rebel group called AVALANCHE,
and want to infiltrate their hideout."
"And they're really going to crush them... literally."
"By breaking the support holding up the plate above them."

(Tifa steps back.)

[Tifa]
"Break the support!?"

[Don Corneo]
"You know what's going to happen? The plate'll go PING"
"and everything's gonna go BAMMM!! I heard their hideout's in the
Sector 7 Slums..."
"I'm just glad it's not here in Sector 6."

[Tifa]
"They're going to wipe out the Sector 7 Slums!?"

(She turns to Cloud.)

[Tifa]
"Cloud, will you come with me to Sector 7?"

[Cloud]
"Of course, Tifa."

(They all stand at the foot of the bed.)

[Don Corneo]
"Just a second!"

[Cloud]
"Shut up!"

[Don Corneo]
"No wait, it'll only take a second."
"How do you think scum like me feels when they babble on about the
[truth?"

***Cloud
They've pretty much given up on life

[Don Corneo]
"Buuzzzzz! Wrong!"

(He flips a switch and Cloud, Aerith, and Tifa fall through a trap door to
the sewer below...)