FEEL WORSE

You say you do it to feel better
But to me you feel worse
Intentionally so unethical
You're just being a jerk

You thought you could outsmart the pain
So tell me, really, how's it working
Out for you? still believe that you can
Cut and paste hurt?

Unloading negative emotions into people like
Old TVs in the forest, lit cigarettes out windows
Smashing glass bottles on the side of the road
So we lace up our boots when you're in one of your moods
When you go into this mode

You say you're venting your frustrations in a healthier way
As the reward center in your brain activates
Like it associates the things you masturbate
To with an orgasm, unifying pleasure and hate

I think you're making excuses because you're terrified
You've reached your limit for how much you can internalize
But you've been swindled by the fickle fragile fleeting highs
Of perpetrating the abuse that has defined your life

And everybody hears you screaming
Fuck you
Hit me
Help me
Kill me
Love me
Stop me
But

You say you do it to feel better
But to me you feel worse
And my opinion doesn't matter
But yeah, you sound worse

Look at where you were a year or two ago
Like, this is worse
You claim you've gotten so much better
But baby, you're getting worse
Baby, you're getting worse
I think you're getting worse

You certainly aren't new or improved
Or in any way less of a fool or abuser
Or safer to be around
Or more amusing

You used to make it fun
You used to be so cool
You used to make it look sexy
Now you're in my death pool

Your behavior's erratic
And really you've become static
You haven't learned a thing
And you've lost all of your magic

And you don't do any drugs
But you sound just like an addict
Making me nervous as you
Proudly announce you feel fantastic

You act like you're self-aware and you claim to be in control
And maybe it was less of a lie the first time you told it
But the look in your eyes really hasn't sold it
Like the way you snap on a dime without the strength to withhold it

You expect me to believe that you're really fucking screaming
About the pointless bullshit you're using to demonize me
The dark place you're in illuminated by gaslighting
I'm sympathetic but it's time to point those fingers inside

Everybody wants to like you
And not fight you
Over fake news
Because we all know
That your issues
Are not the issues
That you subscribe to, like

You say you do it to feel better
But to me you feel worse
And my opinion doesn't matter
But yeah, you sound worse

Look at where you were a year or two ago
Like this is worse
You claim you've gotten so much better
But baby, you're getting worse