Fearful & Wonderful

You seem to remember songs
Like you heard them before you were born
Like you memorised them in the womb
Before from its walls you were torn
And you came out singing
Baby it’s no wonder why
From that first withdraw and release there’s no point trying to deny
That you’re a song bird, but you’re caged
By a lack of interpretation
Everyone around you is an iron bar
And your sound gets lost in translation
But it’s more, more than simply not being understood
It’s the fact that every time you open you mouth
You’re faced with the terrifying possibility that somebody actually could
And what then?
What would you do with yourself?

You never liked playing hide and seek
But however frightening it was for you to sit silently alone
In the dark of a cardboard box
We both know for you that the greatest fear was not in the hiding
But in the being found
You’re a midnight sailboat, gallant yet wayward
Eluding the watchful eye of a lighthouse
Who’s sole purpose was to be your ever present coast guard
But instead of guidance you see a fiery cyclops
And the more you duck and cover the closer your vessel comes to splinters
As you remain quiet as a church mouse

The paint gets thicker the less often you stir it
And as fatigue sets into your forearms
You being to wish the same thing you always do
That if you hadn’t dragged that tin out
From the dusty shelf in the back of your heart and cracked it open
You wouldn’t be so disappointed with yourself
But I just can’t take this anymore
I can’t bear to watch you recoil or relapse one more time
When I know your arthritic fingers were made to paint and to write
And you lungs to sing and scream
Although right now they appear ready to collapse

But I know you’re voice, you’re a sound, you’re a dance, you’re a rhythm
And I’m sorry if anyone every told you otherwise
But it’s just not true
And I’m willing to fight for you if you let me, if you let me

You think that you’re scared
Well every monster with his claws in your back is terrified
Every time you open your mouth or pick up a pen
They’re scared to death you’ll find out who you are and become it
Well he’s jealous
You were given something that once belonged to him and he wants it back
That old werewolf
He’s got his fingers in your ears
To keep you from hearing your Fathers voice saying
‘everything I put inside of you is beautiful, now release who you are’

We’re all listening quietly like statues in the dead of night
And as you purse your lips you let out something
That makes a pin drop sound like a hurricane
But it’s enough
Because in that razor sharp moment of clarity you cut yourself
And all the voices bleed out onto the floorboards
Until you’re left with not one, but two
Because you were never meant to sing alone
A duet rises in your heart
And your aortas hammer out a cadence to a fever pitch
Until your lungs are swelling with so much love
That fear literally leaps out of your chest
But you grab it by the neck and shatter the window frames as you proclaim
‘I know who I am’