Exhausted

I’m sorry if I made you miserable
The last words I said to you
But you’re the one accountable for all the shit you put me through
I see your face everywhere
Your depression hiding grin
All the times you made me smile now seem full of bad intentions
I see your face everywhere
Your depression hiding grin
All the times you made me smile now seem full of bad intentions

I’m in stages of grief but ones that I can’t name
The only thing I know right now is how much I hate your name
Are we not talking anymore now that I’m not your secret?
How long were you planning to keep it?
How long would you have kept me hidden?

How many more men will I be afraid of running into?
I’m constantly scanning rooms
Planning out escape should I have to
Trust has become doubtful to me
When can I be comfortable just being me?
You’ll never understand why this is so exhausting
If you decide to leave
The choice you made was taking choices from me
I’m finally feeling more at peace
Not ‘cause you did anything
Your only effort was in excuses
How many more do you have?
I saw right through them all

You’re only worried about your downfall
You’re not worried about me at all
You’re not worried about me at all
You’re not worried about me at all
You’re not worried about me, but you should be

That’s all I needed to figure you
I may be the only one
I hope there’s been no other ones
God, there’s been so many of us
I was wrong to have chosen forgiveness
Now I don’t think you’ll learn this lesson
But this is something that won’t be forgotten
(We will cross the line through space and time)
Don’t you forget this
(Where respectful men show respect divine)
Don’t you forget this
(And those who fail to fucking fall in place)
Don’t you forget this
(Will be rejected, ridiculed, while they chastise race)
Don’t you fucking dare forget this