Even Hitler Had A Girlfriend

[Verse 1]
I still haven't found a girlfriend
Though I've tried a lot
So can you help me, please?
It's tougher than I thought
The odds are pretty good
But the goods are pretty odd
Though at this point I'd take anything you've got

[Verse 2]
You see this all the time
Nice girls in love with jerks
What could they be thinking?
Tell me how it works
If I've got some problems
Well, I wouldn't be the first
But the ones I have in mind are even worse

[Chorus 1]
And even Hitler had a girlfriend
Who he could always call
Who'd always be there for him
In spite of all his faults
He was the worst guy ever
Reviled and despised
Even Hitler had a girlfriend, so why can't I?
Why can't I?

[Verse 3]
Life is full of contradictions
Hard to understand
And for every happy woman
There's a lonely man
Nixon had his puppy
Charles Manson had his clan
But God forbid that I get a girlfriend

[Chorus 2]
Even Hitler had a girlfriend
Who he could call his own
To sweeten days of bitterness
And feeling all alone
I'm not as bad as Hitler
But it doesn't mean a thing
Since they'd rather be with Hitler more than me
I don't see why they'd rather be with Hitler more than me