Episode 8: Daniel

(Look, someone asked me for help writing them a resignation letter. I'm not sure if it's the best idea given the current economy, but, you know, whatever.)

Dear Daniel, hi, my name's mville
I sling hot cakes and runny eggs at IHOP to pay bills
But I'm disgusted, I wrote this for justice
For suffering lost tips and being made to look suckish
First things first, I quit!
You can take this job and shove it up your ass
I don't give a shit if you're pissed
You yell at me again and some plates is gonna get smashed
It's obvious you drink too much
But don't take your frustrations out on us
You suck, boss, and your whole pancake house sees
Scream at me in front of customers, I'mma dis you internationally
We got an idiot restaurant manager here who can't figure
That cutting other people down doesn't make 'em no bigger
You're just pissed that you're on bail and your little feelings got hurt
Cause it was 5 grand to spring you and that's like a year's worth of work
You dumb broke stupid ass
This is not hip-hop, this is ass-whip hop
I buck wild flip out like a gymnastics bus
Moosh you up till you're soft like a smoothie
Then drizzle you atop my Rooty Tooty Fresh N' Fruity
You're getting waxed, Daniel-son, you catching my point?
You couldn't handle your commute, let alone a breakfast joint
Man, 4 DUI's? How many times does it take?
Stay off the road, you drunk asshole, take the train
Awwww, fuck this, suck a dick, you dumb bitch
I'm done serving breakfast, I'm moving up to a lunch shift
I'm out, sincerely mville, oh, you barely speak English?
Maybe this is clearer? How's your middle-finglish?
(So give that to your boss. You're definitely not gonna have a job afterwards, but let me just say...)
Yo ville, I'm on your back, I hope my quit rap helps
Now let me dis this little power trippin' dick myself
I'm Epic Lloyd, Danny boy, call me the short stack
I want my hand to meet your mouth, cause they both talk smack
Your communication skills are horrible
I couldn't figure out what 3 things you were talking about and I'm on MiSSiON iMPROVable (look it up)
Your whole life is in the weeds
In a 4 top world with brains only meant for parties of three
And now you're the one who's left looking suckish
So crawl your ass back to your tiny rat nest of an office
I 86 a crazy boss in Dis Raps 8
For talking shit on the shift when IT'S JUST FREAKING PANCAKES!!