​eBay

[Intro]
Yeah

[Verse 1]
A used pink bathrobe
A rare mint snowglobe
A Smurf TV tray
I bought on eBay
My house is filled with
This crap shows up in
Bubble wrap, most every day
What I bought on eBay

[Chorus]
Tell me why
I need another pet rock
Tell me why
I got that ALF alarm clock
Tell me why
I bid on Shatner's old toupee
They had it on eBay

[Verse 2]
I'll buy your knick-knack
Just check my feedback
"A++!" they all say
They love me on eBay

[Chorus]
Gonna buy
A slightly-damaged golf bag
Gonna buy
Some Beanie Babies, new with tag
From some guy
I've never met in Norway
Found him on eBay

[Bridge]
I am the type who is liable to snipe you
With two seconds left to go, whoa
Got PayPal or Visa, what ever'll please ya
As long as I've got the dough

[Interlude]
I'll buy your tchotchkes
Sell me your watch, please
I'll buy (I'll buy, I'll buy, I'll buy)

[Bridge]
I'm highest bidder!
Junk keeps arriving in the mail
From that worldwide garage sale (Dukes Of Hazzzard ashtray)
Hey! A Dukes Of Hazzard ashtray (Oh yeah)
I bought it on eBay

[Chorus]
Wanna buy
A Pac-Man Fever lunchbox
Wanna buy
A case of vintage tube socks
Wanna buy
A Kleenex used by Dr. Dre (Used by Dr. Dre)
Found it on eBay

Want to buy
That Farrah Fawcett poster
Pez dispensers (and a toaster)
Don't know why
The kind of stuff you'd throw away
I'll buy on eBay

[Outro]
What I bought on eBay