Dysfunctional Blessing

[Intro]
This is what I call a dysfunctional blessin’
Dysfunctional ‘cause these spirits was at war
But a blessin’ ‘cause it made me stronger

[Verse]
I had a lot on my mind, pill poppin’
Drinkin’ alcohol every day, nonstop
Around the clock I was partyin’ like an animal
Constant, poppin’ off at the mouth, not worryin’ about the conse-

[Verse]
-Quences of my actions, packin’ a pistol with a Jack Daniels
Followin’ my dream to become a rapper
Steady walkin’ the wrong path, a teenager that had
People in my ear, sayin’ I wouldn’t last

[Verse]
I laughed it off, gang-fightin’ in high school
But didn’t pass at all, steady makin’ up my rules
You can’t fake this, boss, hanging with 18 niggas ready to
Break you off, that whatever cost, I’m havin’ a rough

[Verse]
Time gettin’ along with guys, they despise me
Ready to pop me but did the job real sloppy
I wasn’t wise, I idolize Kadafi, Scarface, Rocky
Guzzlin’ sake with my team

[Verse]
Up in high-speed chases, dodgin’ at cops
Screamin’ at baby mama for not bein’ motherly enough
But I dodged the mirror, wishin’ my vision was clearer
Perseverance through snake in the grasses who had me near

[Verse]
They family actin’ happy like they have my back
But couldn’t provide a tissue for my tear
Near the brink of insanity, my house had the spirit of Amityville
Mental agony, goddamnit, this shit is real

[Verse]
Suicidal thoughts, my family havin’ Thanksgivin’
I’m in the basement poppin’ on Tylenol
Ready to end it all till I caught a phone call
And was asked to go to the hip-hop shop, I dropped the bottle

[Verse]
Wasn’t ready to be a father but I did it, though
Second baby mama had a child out of state and I didn’t know
Workin’ odd jobs, had a rap partner who betrayed me
We been rockin’ ever since junior high

[Verse]
I married my first baby mama, damn, why
A nigga was blind, I just wasted my damn time
I got (?), winin’ and dine, livin’ my life
Like I’m single, tryna find a piece of mind

[Verse]
My preacher at the time was hidin’ behind the words of God
A false prophet, I was spiritually bonded
But what was crazy was I trusted the guy
Yeah, he cursed us about a week later, (?)

[Verse]
I’m thankful for the wife that I got by my side
Not the first one, I divorced her faster than a lightning ride
With Proof gone I drunk like never before
My probation got broke, the judge put out a warrant

[Verse]
The morning I was on my way to the memorial
I was supposed to go to court, he knew I wasn’t goin’, though
I had thoughts of goin’ on the run, so far
I couldn’t do a third D12 album behind bars

[Verse]
But Kuniva talked me out of it, I got back to my senses
Turned myself in, then got the sentence over with
(?), sober, legit, drinking alcohol all over again
Hustlin’, tryna put out my solo shit

[Verse]
Had a cheerleader tellin’ me, don’t quit
My brother was tryin’ but my mother had got sick
She was shut in, couldn’t do nothin’
My father was an alcoholic but he became a supportive husband

[Verse]
The thought of it had me nauseous
I was tryna run away from the pain but she died from natural causes
Depression kickin’ in, I coulda became a monster
But God conditioned my mind state to become stronger

[Verse]
I’ll always have a scar in my heart, nothing less
But what’s best, when I look back, yeah, I was truly blessed
If it wasn’t for the trials that I went through
I wouldn’t be Swift, I was dysfunctional but blessed with this gift

[Outro]
You’re my (?)
I got to try, try, try
Got to try, try, try
You’re my (?)
I’ll be pushin’ on so strong
Oh, so strong
My judge for day
I won’t beg away
I’ll be pushing on
Pushing on
Till my (?), I won’t give it all away
I’ll be pushing on
Pushing on
Feel the river’s bed dry
I got to try, try, try
I keep- I keep pushing on