Driftwood

I got dibs on drums
And first say on the mike
Rule number six for life
Is stay on the bike
And as soon as you can
Get rid of the trainin wheels
There's no way to explain
How good an ?attendant? feels
It's better than nothin
But it's more fun than pinball
But when it's done poorly
It's enough to make the skin crawl
It's like chewin on tin foil
The only thing worse
Is when kids peddle drums
Without payin a few dues first
So don't ask what my drums are
'cause i either won't tell you
Or else i got a list of
Phony records to sell you
'cause see noone helped me
And as a matter of fact
There's a thrill in the hunt
For a platter of wax
It's calles searchin
For the perfect beat
The owner is prestigious
To those with the knowledge
And achieve sacriligious ???
Bootlegs and reissues
I avoid 'em like a plague
But don't ask where i look
'cause i'll lie or be vague
I'm on the lookout for beats
Every little second
Checkin country western
Even heavy metal records
Leave no stone uncovered
For every ten took in
You may find none with
Ten hours spend lookin
But that's what makes
A good score so rewarding
Even if you spend 20 bucks
On a rare recording
So don't ask what my drums are
'cause i either won't tell you
Or else i've got a list of
Phony records to sell you