Doubt

[Verse 1]
You know that feelin’ when you’re feelin’ trapped and alone?
Demons snatch at your soul?
Wheezin’ and gaspin’ for hope?
Reachin’, graspin’ to hold
On to anything just to cope?
Well I don’t
Forgot about it
Lived so long without it
No church steeple
Nightstand Bible, or hurt people
Fire and brimstone decryin’ all my worst evils
A thousand missionaries with prayers
Visionaries with wares
It all falls feeble. Call it my cross to bear
I’m buried here, dyin’, you forgot about me
Or I forgot about you
Who knows the truth
The toppin’ off of this glass
The last comfort that I have
I’d rather that than pop an Ativan
No takin’ off this mask
They say to read the Bible
Pray daily for revival
I’ve been waitin’ for a while
No new arrival, I’m through lookin’ for you in every trial
If you need me, tell me what to do
But I’m sick of waitin’ for fairy tales to come true

[Hook]
I can’t seem to find a way to open up my eyes
And see things clearly
I’m so weary
What do you want from me?
I can’t see it
What do you want from me?
What do you want from me?
What do you want from me?
I can’t see it
What do you want from me?
I can’t see it

[Verse 2]
I’ve painted darker pictures, but none as bleak as this
What if I just wasted my life?! Out here seekin’ bliss?
Or what if I just wasted my life, chasin’ the cheapest hits
Tempted by the weakest kiss, spendin’ next season’s chips
Fear and doubt in my mind frame
Lookin’ for the wounds, call me Thomas with these migraines
I’m done livin’ in a blind rage
I gave my brain to you, and you left me on this highway
This whole thing went sideways
Try to tell me that it didn’t, come and look at it from my lane
Said you’d steer, just told me to be the drivetrain
Now I’m lost without a guide
Man you lied! I swear I tried
Led the life you said I had to, killed my pride
Made my plans to fill my mind, with your lines
Now I’m fine
I don’t need another lie
It’s time I design my grind
I’m findin’ my own ride
Followin’ my own signs

[Hook]

[Verse 3]
Bottle empty now
Sittin’ in this empty house
I scream and shout
The halls echo back my doubts
Reaffirm what I’ve known
That I’m alone
My soul stone
Ingrown and in pain
Maybe just insane
Talkin’ to the walls while I look up to the sky
Demandin’ of the ceilin’ fan “why?!”
“Why won’t you love me? Why don’t you care?”
“Sittin’ up above me, but ignorin’ me down here?”
It never answers
Strange that I can never master
The feelin’ of bein’ trapped here
In the mask that I plastered to my own face
Laced with shattered pieces of glass from this thrown vase
Fractured from an old grace and twisted hope’s weight
You know that feelin’ when you’re feelin’ trapped and alone?
Demons snatch at your soul?
Wheezin’ and gaspin’ for hope?
Reachin’, graspin’ to hold
On to anything just to cope?
Well I don’t
Forgot about it
Lived so long without it

[Hook]