Dizaster vs SMP

[Round 1: Dizaster]
You know what rhymes with "fat people"?
"Fat people"
You know what else rhymes with "fat people"?
"More fucking fat people"
I met you a while ago you obviously do not remember me
But since you never exercise I think it's only right that you jog your memory
Yeah, fuck what this slob is telling me
Your parents make you sit down and watch a McDonald documentary
That's when you hopping up outta your seat like, "Mom this is the part where they mention me!"
Your got bodied by your pasta recipes
You lost them three green collard greens, broccoli is your enemy
Your arteries are blocked from all the lard that's entering
Clogging entry, not receiving blood to your heart so technically
You keep scarfing that box of Jelly Beans your cholesterol is in jeopardy
Doctors gonna have to amputate your leg or your arm eventually
And if they do amputate your arm eventually it's cause your life is not expected to have a long expectancy
And that's because of your carb' dependency
I can tell you had an awesome breakfast
Sausage, eggs with lots of bread sticks
You look like Bubba Sparxxx crossed with Precious
I know you act like fat jokes are not creative and y'all wanna be like I'm offensive
He gon' take the fat joke cause he is not gonna defend it
Cause he gon' sit here and man up and deal with the consequences
Cause no one in this crowd forced you to treat your body reckless
It's not my fault you look like a fucking mom that's pregnant
I'm gonna steal one of Illmaculate's angles against Madness just so I can get by
I'm gonna reverse the fat jokes with sarcasm by calling him "a slim guy"
You're so skinny that you could take off with a- never mind it's not gonna work with this guy
Eat some cold cuts you're a fat dude
You wanna loc up then I'll smack you
Last time I went to New York, I removed a torch from your statue
Last time you went to New York the Ghostbusters attacked you
Homie you're such a fat dude, you would get a donut as a tattoo
Hold up I got more stuff to ask you
Why the fuck did you show up wearing Bone Crusher's fat suit?
Lyrically you can't fuck with me
Get some fucking exercise
And I'm talking 'bout things besides having sex with pies
Fucking fat fucking human Shrek
Every two minutes you lose your breath
You wanna fucking reduce your breasts?
Then do some reps
Maybe even some super sets that will help you look like Buddha less
You're so fucking Hungry that your nickname is "Budapest"
This dude would trade food for sex
Who are you telling?
You took a bitch and chewed her chest in cause you heard that she had "beautiful melons"

[Round 1: SMP]
Now in 2005, Katrina made Louisiana leave in a hurry
Japan lost half their land, left the streets in a fury
Every year, hundreds of thousands of people get buried
But I'm from Canada it's natural Dizasters are the least of my worries
This guy is a faggot, straight up a huge fucking wreck
I'm 'bout to stretch this mark out like my new stomach fat
You ain't respected in the west and everything you do is fucking wack
I've worked with Crooked I, we produced a couple tracks
Been to shows with Xzibit, where were you suckers at?
I've got Connections in the Westside like Cube, Dub and Mack
He never has troubles with flights, he's got mad government ties
He just makes a couple calls to get past customs and flies
He'll come across with the guns he's got, brass knuckles and knives
And pack all of that shit up into the bags under his eyes
Now I was mad fucking surprised that y'all think this guy's a gangster and lives the hardest life
He ain't got the heart to fight
You catch him scrapping in the streets, it's garbage night
I got street cred' and assets so if I get shot in the slammer
I'm going into that sentence with capital like proper grammar
I'm like James Gandolfini
Y'all can see he hardcore
I'll take your bars and shut 'em down like Lamborghini car doors
Watch this camel get smoked in Canada no American cigarettes
My fat ass will run circles around you til I tear out my ligaments
You Arab degenerate
I'll embarrass your heritage with this shit
I'm like the country you live in
I'll fuck up the whole Arabic Syndicate

[Round 2: Dizaster]
Ayo, you said you were gonna embarrass my heritage
But how the fuck are you gonna embarrass Americans
When you have the hairiest Paris friends?
You're from a city called Cornwall
Wow, what a fucking cornball
You got corn stuck in your sports bra
I mean you're still having corn meals, corn steel
Out at the fucking farm with your bitch having sex with a full grown seal
Trying to hold the horse still, shooting a porn film
Somewhere out in there in the cornfield
Fucking fat ass, I'll fucking smack ya
Man, if this wasn't a battle right now I would fucking attack you
I'm not gonna have this, not from this Canadian Madness
You know what? Give me this sandwich
{Dizaster pulls a ham sandwich from some guy out the crowd}
This here? This is an amazing sandwich
Smell it
{Keeps eating it and then puts it on the ground between the two of them}
Alright fuck it, I'll put it in front of you
I dare you to touch it dude
And if you don't then that just proves you're not really a hungry dude
So fuck you homie, you're not the type that would ever get respect
You need to take that fucking towel and wipe all the sweat off your neck
Sweating fucking gallons
Can't even keep your balance
You are not even a challenge
You're a fat kid you probably own your own fucking banquet
He told me before this battle, he said, "Yo you wanna wear my shirt?"
I told him, "No thanks bitch that's probably Charron's blanket."
You can't fuck with Dizaster homie
You look like a fucking freaking bear
You live somewhere near a fucking vending machine that needs repair
I mean before this battle he went and trained like a hard Marine
Trying to get stuff to drop out of the soda pop machine
Boxing it to the Rocky theme
Going down to Coffee Bean so he can get a box of Boston Cremes
Growing up you were part of a soccer team named Hunger Force with the Aqua Teen

[Round 2: SMP]
Diz', your first round was sick, the second wasn't fly dude
Fucking right he pulls out a sandwich cause there's no way you're eating my food
You fucking Arab!
Those brows have more hairs than HFK's back
And that shit's like midgets and I motherfucking hate that
Damn Diz', was that Black Plague that infected your cheeks?
You look like a mescaline freak that hasn't sleep in a week
Check him he's tweaked
And if that ain't the case, the fact still remains
He looks like he just came off a Bender, like body fat in the chain
Now that shit you said about Organik, somewhat fucking bugs me
He made fun of how our president runs this league
Look at how well yours run your country
George...W...Bushy eyebrows
Those are fucking huge
You should take a number two to those suckers dude
If he had an eyebrow competition with Bert & Ernie they'd fucking lose!
Fuck it I'm choking, fuck it I'm choking
I'll pull a Dizaster and hope no one will notice
Walking around back and forth like, "I DON'T KNOW WHERE I'M GOING"
Starting pointing my finger really fast in the face of my opponent
And the suspense and shit got to end it with "A WEAK PUNCHLINE ABOUT AN EXPLOSION!"

[Round 3: Dizaster]
Yo that fucking bar was wack, you keep yelling at me then you're gonna have a heart attack
Let me tell you something buddy
You're fucking overweight
You and your fucking homies, your corporate homies make Situations where you sit down and negotiate over steak
Homie you're so overweight, you're like the white version of the person with the stolen tapes
Why the fuck are your shoulder blades oval shaped?
You're so overweight, when you go to take a smoking break...
You can't cause you work in such an enormous place
By the time you make it to the end of the corridor your breaks over and you're already four minutes late
He's in his late 40's wait
He can't even score a date
So he goes home so he can fornicate with his only Ho-stess cake
I got more, wait
You are not scary
You're a Cornwall you grew up on the Farm like Knotts Berry
The only thing you've ever left in your yard buried
Was a batch of strawberries
Motherfucker you're fucking the size of an aircraft carrier
And I heard you're French which makes it that much scarier
Cause you're the only fucking country where I can officially say, "Dawg, your bitches are hairier."
I mean he's gonna sit here and take these fat jokes and he's not gonna move from his spot cause
I kept hitting him with fat jokes and I couldn't figure out why he would not budge
Then I watched X-Men and realized, "Hey, that's exactly what The Blob does!"
But you're not The Blob, you're Jabba The Hut
Cause if you were The Blob then where the fuck are your boxing gloves?
You need to cut it down and fucking jog for once
I've never seen a larger gut
They could use your lard as a guard for an armored truck
I'm from America, the land of fat people, in God we trust
Shopping malls, with all types of spots for lunch
Fried meats, extra toppings and larger crusts
What I'm trying to say is, "Dawg, you belong to us."
So you better listen to what I'm saying to you you obnoxious cunt
Before I fucking mop you up then hop up and sock you with a box of Hydroxycut
You'll never lose weight no matter how hard you push and you try
You should go to your girlfriend right now and kiss the pussy goodbye
Cause I was chilling with girl, we were getting faded putting kush in the sky
So in more than one way you can say that your sugar was high
There's nothing you can say to me
See people like you, to see it, to believe it, you're gonna have to see it in front of you
And once you do that be the reason you ain't feeling too comfortable
See while you're doing your mixtapes with Xzibit waiting for some record label executive peep to discover you
I'ma take over by snatching these Toronto streets right from under you
The love of your life is sleeping with other dudes
She's swallowing semen then tonguing you to the point you're receiving the stomach flu
You don't believe me it's fucking true
She's even freaking your cousin to and been keeping it all a secret like sweet little Huxtable
[?] fucking front of you, your Stairmaster's had enough of you
{Judge calls time}

[Round 3: SMP]
Since I get a grace period, y'all remember this?
He's so important, he don't got a job he lives with mom and dad
Fucking poon poon jab
Dizaster had the baddest [?] rather have a man, fucking look who's a fag
He loves [?]
Bachir is queer [?] in my brroom brroom cab
Wow, your brows are (browser) bigger than Googles
So it ain't a surprise that he can walk through a sand storm and never get a single grain in his eye
I'm starting to question his religion
I no longer think it is Islam
Cause it would be easier for me to tell y'all all the drugs he ISN'T on
Acting like he's down with robbing hoods like he's Lil' Jon
When really he's on an intercom like, "I'm finished with my dinner mom!"
You never wanted to know that you live with your mom and dad
Too late, your life's pathetic and that shit's apparent (a parent)
Like your roommates
Now he's tired of standing around
This wait/weight, I'm over it
I mean it's hard to fit over this enormous hidden shoulder width
You ain't a soldier bitch
You don't want any war dude
You're my biggest opponent yet...but I'm probably yours too
I mean I can roll through a McDonalds after Christmas supper
Pick me up a little snack or two
Cost me a hundred and twenty bucks, fuck I even tipped the cashier
Get home, open the bag
And nothing gets me madder
When they forget the sweet and sour
For my chicken finger platter
That's my motherfucking definition of Dizaster!
You ain't the disaster that swept the Haitians
Or the disaster that wet the Asians
They may have predicted this outcome
But the fact is the weather's changing
They forecasted a disaster but after the shit you spraying
I see more like cloudy eyes and a chance of precipitation
Time motherfucker