Dinah-Moe-Humm [Philly ’76]

I couldn't say where she's coming' from
But I just met a lady named Dinah-Moe Humm

She stroll on over, say look here, bum
I got a forty-dollar bill says you can't make me cum
(No! Y'jes can't do it)

She made a bet with her sister who's a little bit dumb
She could prove it any time all men was scum

I don't mind that she called me a bum
But I knew right away she was really gonna cum
(So I got down to it)

Whipped off her bloomers 'n stiffened my thumb
An' applied rotation to her sugar plum

I poked 'n stroked till my wrist got numb
But I still didn't hear no Dinah-Moe Humm
Dinah-Moe Humm

Dinah-Moe Humm
Dinah-Moe Humm
Where's this Dinah-Moe
Comin' from
I done spent three hours
An' I ain't got a crumb
From the Dinah-Moe, Dinah-Moe, Dinah-Moe
From the Dinah-Moe Humm

I got a spot that gets me hot
An' you ain't been to it
I got a spot that gets me hot
An' you ain't been to it
Got a spot that gets me hot
But you ain't been to it
Got a spot that gets me hot
But you ain't been to it
But I can't get into it
To get myself out of it
No! I gotta get out of it
To get myself into it
I gotta get into it
To get myself out of it
But I gotta be out of it
To get myself into it

(She looked over me with a glazed eye
And some bovine perspiration on her upper lip area
And she said, now listen this, she said . . . )

Just get me wasted
An' you're half-way there
'Cause if my mind's tore up
Then my body don't care

I rubbed my chinny-chin-chin
An' said my-my-my
What sort of thing
Might this lady get high upon?

The forty-dollar bill didn't matter no more
When her sister got nekkid an' laid on the floor
She said Dinah-Moe might win the bet
But she could use a little ______ if I wasn't done yet

I told her . .
Just because the sun
Want a place in the sky
No reason to assume
I wouldn't give her a try

So I pulled on her hair
Got her legs up in the air
An' asked if she had any cooties in there

(Whaddya mean cooties! No cooties on me!)

She was buns-up kneelin'
(BUNS UP!)
I was wheelin' an dealin'
(WHEELIN' AN' DEALIN' AN' OOOOH!)
She surrender to the feelin'
(SHE SWEETLY SURRENDERED)
An' she started in to squealin'

Dinah-Moe watched from the edge of the bed
With her lips just a-twitchin' an' her face gone red
Some drool rollin' down
From the edge of her chin
While she spied the condition
Her sister was in
Boy, she quivered 'n quaked
An' she clutched at herself
While her sister made a joke
About her mental health
Until Dinah-Moe finally
Did give in
But I told her
All she really needed
Was some discipline, I said . .

Kiss my aura . . . Dora . .
It's real angora
Would y'all like some more-a?
Right here on the flora?
An' how 'bout you, Fauna?
I can see that Fauna wanna
How about you, Flora?

(Do I wanna?)

I don't know, do you wanna?

(I don't know . . . )

Go ahead, Fauna, swallow it, Fauna, go ahead, swallow it

(Well, I know I have something dirty to do)

Listen, wipe it on this
Awright, now look
D'you think I could interest you
In a pair of zircon-encrusted tweezers?
What you think?

(Well, I don't know if I like tweezers quite enough)

Every night is the same thing!
She tells me she's got a charley horse in her tongue

(But I do have a charley horse in my tongue)

That's an old one, Fauna, listen
No excuses, this time you get the tweezers
We're gonna have to sterilize 'em so . .
Awright, you're ready?

I couldn't say where she's coming' from
But I just met a lady named Dinah-Moe Humm

She stroll on over, say look here, bum
I got a forty-dollar bill say you can't make me cum
(No, no! Y'jes can't do it)

She made a bet with her sister who's a little bit dumb
She could prove it any time all men was scum

I don't mind that she called me a bum
But I knew right away she was really gonna cum
(So I got down to it)

I whipped off her bloomers 'n stiffened my thumb
An' applied rotation to her sugar plum

I poked 'n stroked till my wrist got numb
You know I heard some Dinah-Moe Humm
A little Dinah-Moe Humm
Dinah-Moe
Dinah-Moe
Dinah-Moe
Dinah-Moe
Little Dinah-Moe
Little Dinah-Moe
Little Dinah-Moe
Little Dinah-Moe
Little Dinah-Moe
Little Dinah-Moe
Little Dinah-Moe . .

FZ: Ray White on guitar, Patrick O'Hearn on bass, Terry Bozzio on drums, Eddie Jobson on keyboards and violin, Bianca on vocals, tambourine and Fender Rhodes piano. Thanks a lot for coming to the show, oh, wait a minute! Fido on poodle. Hope you enjoyed it. Good night!

FZ: Thank you! Well . . . Alright, here's a little something to get you up on your feet