Dimming Lights

I checked into the flight maybe fueled up the van
It’s hard to fall asleep when I all I want to do is land
I hold onto your hand but know that letting go is coming
As soon as music paid the bills I had to keep on running
Always planning something
Fear is the ethic of every hustle
I struggle so you don’t ever have to struggle
But I see it on your face
You have needs I can’t embrace
Can’t control the alternative you delete when I escape
I’m not okay
I wake up feeling like I didn’t even sleep
I miss clocking in and out five times a week
I miss lunch break visits and kissing you on the cheek
I miss school assemblies and cheering him from our seat
I miss the routine
Yeah that one that use to drive me up the wall
Now I’m driving up to Tennessee and trying not to bawl
Every time I look at her to say goodbye
My throat tenses up and tears blurry up my eyes
I hug her extra tight so my tears ain’t kept in sight
And I miss catching movies I’m so sick of catching flights
Did I count the cost for every speaker, every light
But didn’t factor in not tucking them at night

You can dim the lights
And I’ll begin my life
I know the stage is
Overrated
You can dim the lights

And I’ll begin my life
I know the stage is
Overrated
This is the hardest part
This is the hardest part for me
This is the hardest part
This is the hardest part for me

And everything looks smaller when I’m far away
But the aching only grows until my heart deflates
Another moment captured through a phone
FaceTime kisses because daddy isn’t home
I met a girl last night that broke me down
Her story made me never ever wanna leave my town
Like I gotta be around
I gotta tell my daughter’s they are precious
I carry the burden of every broken confession
So even when I get back I am not the same
Even when I lay down i am not at rest
Even when I’m embraced I can feel the pain
From cries of desperation by the anxious and depressed
But that’s when my heart is put to test
I recognize You call for light and dark to intersect
And I was made for this it’s not coincidence
This is irrevocable and somewhat dangerous
Way intense
I’ve come to find the hardest parts can scar the heart
And sometimes when it’s awfully dark I fall apart
But you can’t smell a rose until it’s crushed
And maybe being broken up will show them You’re enough

You can dim the lights
And I’ll begin my life
I know the stage is
Overrated
You can dim the lights
And I’ll begin my life
I know the stage is
Overrated
This is the hardest part
This is the hardest part for me
This is the hardest part
This is the hardest part for me