Dichotomy

(Verse)
With every moment passin' there's supression on my passions
As I'm hacking and I'm slashing through the masses with a hatchet
There's a - message drafted, and as the legend has it
I'm lashing out, while stressing out, I'm no longer having this
I feel so behind, but who exactly's keeping score?
I'm not like the ones living to please their lord
I'm living with a burden I'm forced to tolerate
Drinking single malts all day, after girl walks away
I'm anhedonic, and honestly I panic often
I also apologize for things that I cannot promise
So I'm living with this guilt that is ineffable
It's how I spend my days, feeling it's unacceptable
Staring in a mirror feeling confidence and shame
Bottling emotions, cause I'm caught up in this game
Sitting on the fence trying to change into the better role
The dichotomy is clashing, it's unbearable