Dice Dice Baby

{*a parody of Vanilla Ice's song "Ice Ice Baby"*}

[Chorus]
Dice Dice Baby
Dice Dice Baby

He can't stop, can he be clean? Never
Dice is back and he's hornier than ever
Steps to the mic but he don't say nothin'
When he starts talking he still says nothin'
Will he ever stop? Yo, I doubt it
People gather 'round let me tell you about it
Sick, he'd be a genius, 'though
If his I.Q. was as big as his ego
Jokes, he doesn't know how to write 'em
Can't write a one, but he knows how to bite 'em
Insults, that's all he pours on
Thinks he's the best but he's dressed like a moron
Light it and smoke it, he's gonna die soon
Wraps his arm around his head just like a baboon
If there's a dirty joke bet he knows it
Watch his career as the Dice man blows it

[Chorus]

Always huffin' and puffin'
Like the Big Bad Wolf, but he ain't sayin' nothing
Now that he's known he's no longer funny
Harder to stop than the Energizer Bunny
Hates you, if you're not just like him
But I'd kill myself before I acted like him
Life ain't fair, his head's real dense
But he's makin' money I'm not even makin' sense
Leather, is all he wears
With his George Jetson snap-on hair
Women can't stand him, eMpTyV banned him
What about his movie? It left him stranded
Music, hates songs like this one
He wears studs 'cause he thinks he's one
He'll insult you if he gets the chance
His fairy tales insult you're intellegence
All he talks about are girls in bikinis
In real life his girls wear beanies
Live, he's more than rude
Spice has a rhyme about Dice with an attitude
If he was funny it'd be different
But his tapes sound worse than the ones in his basement
Posse, called Sudden Death
I better hurry up 'cause I'm runnin' out of breath
No respect for anything
Dice is convinced he was born to be king
Babble on and on, man, king of what?
His entire second tape is proof that he's nuts
I wanna check him out when he turns 81
Will he be the same with no hair and a big butt
If there's a dirty joke, bet he knows it
Watch his career as the Dice man blows it

[Chorus]

Take heed, he's a comical monster
Dice is a man that does what he wants to
Fine, let him speak his wind
It'll keep him happy, out of our skin
'Cause the man's like a new born baby
Cryin' and crappin', driving me crazy
Give the man a pacifier, tell him it's a cigarrette
'Cause if you don't, then he'll wanna get
On stage, and give you his routine
Talk like a drug addict, walk like a chimpanzee
Goodbye, go find your brain
If his life was a ring he'd throw it down the drain
Lost respect and he lost it fast
Magnified by the fact that he has no class
If there's a dirty joke bet he knows it
Watch his career as the Dice man blows it

[Chorus]